The Bachelor: The Most Unforgettable-Ever!

barish

And of course, there’s Caila.

I’ve been fortunate enough to meet most of these lovely women, but it’s especially neat to watch back the journey of someone you’ve since gotten to know, and well. For all the gripes contestants often have about their edits, I’ve got to say Caila’s appearance on The Bachelor was a pitch perfect representation—she really is that “bubbly” (Ben’s frequent adjective for Caila), that warm, that thoughtful. (Her asking me to be her bridesmaid on TV will forever be one of the most touching—and surprising!—gestures I’ve ever experienced.) But at the same time, she is an enigma and, as Ben put it, some might consider her difficult to truly get to know. I’ve always related to that aspect of her, to the side of her that is a people-pleaser and something of a chameleon. We’re very alike in this way, and it’s been a uniquely rewarding experience peeling back those layers in each other and somehow recognizing the person on the other side. All in all, you can tell a lot about a person by what they look for and value in a partner, and we have Ben to thank for identifying and keeping around so many future Bachelor Nation fixtures.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

My own personal attachment to this season notwithstanding, last night’s episode brought one of the most important appearances to date: a chat with former villain Olivia Caridi.

To me, this addition single-handedly made Ben’s season worth recapping. Think about it: How often do we get to hear from a villain describing the post-filming experience, four years after the fact? Tell All episodes don’t really count, because at that point the villain is still mid-experience. (They film the Tell All partway through the season, after all). They don’t know yet what the next years—or even year—will look like.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Historically, this show provides villains with a couple of options:

1. Pursue redemption. Go on Paradise or look for love on another Bachelor/ette season. Behave very differently. Last long enough to be seen by viewers in this more flattering light. (If you don’t last long enough, you’ll come off as desperate for reappearing at all.) This route has inherent risks, the most obvious being trusting your fate in the hands of the very people who were responsible for your portrayal in the first place. The poster children success stories for this route are JJ Lane and Krystal Nielson.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

The horror stories are Chad Johnson and Corinne Olympios.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

2. a) Choose never to trust this show and its producers again. Resume normal life as best as you can while getting recognized on a daily basis for an experience you wish you could forget. Tierra LaCausi not appearing on Sean Lowe’s recap two weeks ago put her firmly in this category.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

2. b) Never trust the show again, but take control of the narrative by profiting off your defamation. There are few in this category: Courtney Robertson wrote a fantastic tell-all and ultimately profited off her edit.

Olivia’s aftermath hasn’t been unlike Courtney’s: She leaned into the criticism, started a podcast and gradually shared her story in a similarly intimate way. (If you missed it, Olivia and I did a deep dive into edits when I was her guest a year ago.)

Notice what’s not included: The legal ability to tell your side of the story, to describe how your edit and/or production played a role, to wholly defend yourself. Even last night, Olivia wasn’t able to go into the ins and outs of production, deftly managing not to blame her edit or producers (though they undoubtedly played some role). But what she did was far better: She showed self-awareness and took responsibility. She owned the behaviour that led to her being disliked by the women, that in turn made her villain edit easy. She took the high road and, in doing so, she added credence to her tears. There’s no two ways about it, being the “villain” is HARD. It makes him or her doubt themselves, even hate themselves. It fills them with sorrow and regret and trust issues. It strains real-life relationships.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I often feel reality TV brings out the worst in people, and as Rachel Lindsay aptly put it at Peter’s finale, “People have become so comfortable being mean.” Some of the things viewers and fellow contestants said about Olivia were disturbing—to say she was cyber-bullied is no exaggeration. As Olivia said last night, criticize the things one can control. Physical attributes are off limits. Peter’s season, with its many screaming matches and curses hurled from one woman to another, still sends a chill down my spine. Thus, Olivia’s interview felt important and necessary. To hear from someone on the receiving end of that firing squad of millions, four years later, and to witness the dichotomy of strength yet the obvious long-term effects of hurt and self-doubt….Well, it hopefully gives viewers a bit of pause before hitting “send” on their next nasty remark. Hopefully.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Last night, the big takeaway in Olivia’s appearance was that, today, she’s strong and resilient. She’s back in the family! She should come on Paradise! They’re there for her, no matter what! Let it be known, though, that despite what the show might have you believe, and no matter how many adjacent success stories they may lay claim to, Olivia’s resulting strength and resiliency are in no way thanks to this “family.” She’s in a good place today not because of the show, but in spite of it.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Sharleen Joynt on Episode 4 of The Bachelor: The Greatest Seasons—Ever!

If there’s one thing last night’s recap episode taught us, it’s that not all Greatest Ever seasons make for great recaps. Over the last few weeks, even if I wasn’t spectacularly entertained, I’ve managed to find aspects of each episode compelling and/or nostalgic. There have been so many great personalities to walk through these hallowed halls of heartbreak!

However, I’m sorry to say JoJo’s season did not translate for me at all. It led me to the conclusion that, in the same way that a season is only as good as its contestants, a recap episode is even more dependent on them.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Case in point: JoJo herself was a phenomenal Bachelorette: down-to-earth, cool yet relatable, funny, confident yet never arrogant, self-deprecating.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

She was the quintessential woman that men want to date and other women want to be friends with.

She is, to this day, one of the most charming Bachelor Nation members I’ve ever met in person. She just has that “it” factor, that star quality. Her Instagram following and unique post-show success (including a clothing line and an HGTV show with fiancé Jordan) suggest I’m not alone in thinking so.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Therefore, it’s with sad surprise that I report that last night bored me to tears.
Of course, JoJo and Jordan’s engagement was beautiful

and the hopeless romantic in me is glad to see them still together and evidently very much in love. (I appreciated their honesty in admitting their first year post-engagement was brutally difficult.) But those fleeting feel-good moments aside, this season just did not recap well.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

We weren’t able to see JoJo’s many adorable moments, the little in-between interactions, her witty comebacks and one-liners.

(Although I will say, her matter-of-factly sending Chad packing was pretty fantastic.) The innate issue (or selling point?) of this Greatest Seasons Ever format is it’s actually more about contestants being featured, more so than the lead herself. It’s about singling out any notable or finalist men and guys’ individual “journeys” and rehashing their heartbreak.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

And while JoJo did have some memorable guys—Jordan aside, Derek, Evan and Wells were the obvious stand-outs—none of them made it particularly far.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Meanwhile, I remember strongly feeling Robby and Chase were about as milquetoast as runners-up could be. (Note how all three of the above men were interviewed in “catch-up” conversations

yet these two runners-up weren’t, proving The Powers That Be agree with me.)

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

That may sound harsh, but as increasingly “in love” and vulnerable as both Robby and Chase became, I never quite bought what they were selling.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)