The Bachelor: The Most Unforgettable-Ever!

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Sharleen Joynt on Episode 8 of The Bachelor: The Greatest Seasons—Ever!

Last night’s episode gave me all the nostalgic feels. Jason Mesnick’s was the first Bachelor season I really watched from beginning to end. It was the first time I invested enough time and energy to learn the contestants by name and personality, and to really have my socks knocked off by that shocking ending (along with the rest of America). I had seen just the final few episodes of DeAnna’s season and thought Jason seemed smart, cute and like he had a decent sense of humour; to this day he’s one of a handful of Bachelors I have found to be TV crush-worthy.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Therefore, it comes as no surprise that I seriously enjoyed this look back at his season.

Jason’s recap zeroed in on the inception of my fandom and landed squarely on a time of my life—my early 20s, still in school, living on my own in NYC—that I remember fondly,
but that was also a huge time for self discovery. There were a lot of my own love stories
I’d yet to experience, and I had a lot of growing up to do. In that way, it was neat
to watch this season back and to remember these women who really spoke to me,
with whom I identified.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I remember watching Jillian and thinking she was so fun, yet also
(as we would especially learn on her season) sensitive, creative and entrepreneurial.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I loved the Sex and the City vibes of her infamous hotdog condiment
theory and wanted to be her friend.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I thought Melissa was pretty much the most perfect specimen to ever walk
the earth—she was so effortlessly gorgeous, the ultimate Girl Next Door.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I always had a keen eye on the way she chose to express herself,
on her fashion choices, even her hairstyles.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

And, of course, there’s Molly, who I came to idolize.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I loved how Molly was nobody’s fool; she saw the humour in things that
weren’t meant to be funny, saw the irony in the experience she was living.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

To this day, in terms of a contestant admitting to falling in love with
the lead, I’m not sure I’ve ever believed someone more than Molly.

Her eyes were glossy with emotion and fear, yet she fully recognized
the hilarity of her admission, and ultimately, her sincerity caused her
to do it. It was a very cool “real” reality TV moment.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

She reacted to the show’s unexpected twists and turns the way
my then-self liked to imagine I would; with appropriate consideration
for the cameras around, but with a level head planted firmly in reality.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

When Jason broke up with Molly on that final day, her reaction wasn’t immediate
tears or even anger, but rather incredulity. I always imagined that, if I felt such
a level of simpatico with the lead that I truly, 100% expected I would wind up
engaged to him, my reaction at turning out to be wrong would look much the same.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Tears later, sure. Anger at feeling duped, most definitely. But the immediate reaction
would look a lot like Molly’s: an expression that says, “Wait, are you serious?”

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

In a way, reliving how these women resonated with me 11 years ago shed new light
on what it’s like to apparently resonate with other women around the country (and the world) now. I know this may sound strange, but as flattering as it is, I’ve never gotten used to receiving emails and messages from viewers, both younger and older than myself, both men and women. (I’m not pretending I’m alone in this, by the way—I know all Bach alums get this!) They might know me from my season, or perhaps they got to know me afterwards from reading recaps such as this one. (Based on the messages I’ve read, it seems to be a combination of both.) But seeing as how going on The Bachelor is a relatively selfish pursuit (meaning, you don’t go on this show to become some role model or to do good for the world, at least not in the short term), it never ceases to amaze me how, by simply being ME, I could have a positive impact on strangers. I’ll admit I never quite got it, couldn’t see why a young woman would take her time to DM me over some other, more role model-y person. But re-watching Season 13 last night, I realized maybe it isn’t so unbelievable after all. If I think back to my early 20-something self, seeing how these women carried themselves, it’s very possible I might have unconsciously sought to emulate them, to incorporate the traits I admired. If Instagram existed back then, perhaps I might have felt inclined to DM one of them, too.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

That’s not to say every woman got such a relatable edit. Beyond the obvious differences
in the show then versus now, 2009 marks a difference in terms of how they painted contestants. I’ve mentioned over the last few years how it feels like The Bachelor has gradually pulled away from overtly painting their female contestants as desperate and crazy. In recent seasons, I’ve found they’ve been better about showing context for extreme “crazy” behaviour, as well as showing friendships between the women (as opposed to acting like the women solely felt competition with one another). Conversely, with last night’s episode, observe Lauren and Shannon.

Lauren, in her demands (and the awkward execution of those demands),
came off as The Needy One.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Dental hygienist Shannon read up on her Bachelor’s Myspace page (!!!)
a bit more than she should have (or rather, more than she should have admitted)
and even vomited during a Rose Ceremony, solidifying herself as The Crazy One.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I remember watching and thinking these women seemed so desperate and nuts. The editing, the clown-ish music, and the lack of context fed me that narrative, and I bought
it hook, line, and sinker. Today, I see nerves and self-consciousness, and probably a lot
of alcohol to attempt to ease said nerves and self-consciousness.

With Lauren, particularly in that jittery “you want to kiss me” scene,
I saw a woman who was extremely uncomfortable with cameras on her,
trying to patch together some semblance of a normal dating scenario.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

With Shannon, I saw a woman who had succumbed to a producer’s insistence
that Jason was her future husband, causing her to put even more pressure
on her already panicked 10 minutes of one-on-one time here and there.

She wanted to make sure he remembered her (hence confirming he
remembered her name), that he took notice of her.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Today, after having been there myself, and after analyzing and recapping
this show for six years since, I see how wrong I was about these women.

I look back on these scenes I’ve seen before and don’t see “crazy” anymore;
I see women straining to take a modicum of control over a situation not remotely
in their control (by design), but one that spirals further and further out of their control
the harder they try. The very circumstances that make them feel awkward and panicked
will only be made more awkward and more uncomfortable, all to elicit more unravelling.
It would seem going on this show changed not only how I’d see things in the years
to follow, but also how I’d see things retroactively. Last night taught me this.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)