The Bachelor: The Most Unforgettable-Ever!

barish

Speaking of words, I was enthralled to hear Amanda talk about sex so openly, but this observation led me to a sad realization. At first, when I heard Amanda mention her bedroom trapeze and Wonder Woman costume, I felt she was ahead of not only her time, but ahead of our time; more sexually empowered, more evolved, certainly less judgmental. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized there are surely plenty of women so open-minded and adventurous, but social media has stifled their voices. The freedom Amanda felt to talk so openly came not only with the boldness you might feel on a brand new TV show that you’re not sure will even make it on air (versus an 18-plus-year-old franchise with a built-in, very vocal audience), but it also comes when you don’t have to read the cruel and judgmental things people say about you online. You don’t even know those exist! When I look back over my hardest times post-show, to the worst criticism I received, it was entirely via Twitter or Instagram. Early Facebook did exist in 2002, but the social media circle was generally limited to people you actually knew, to friends who were actually friends. Back then, few strangers approaching you in person would ever say anything even mildly critical; to your face, you’re everyone’s “favourite.” I’m sure Amanda heard the stray whisper here or there judging her recreational activities (just as Trista would feel the pressure of the timeless double standard about seeming like a “floozy”),

it would have been child’s play compared to the scathing, often faceless criticism of today. It’s hard to imagine a contestant embracing her sexuality so freely on The Bachelor now, as much as I’d love to witness it. It would either be proof that that contestant has the thickest skin, the most troll-proof confidence ever, or it would inevitably feel like a gimmick to stand out.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I went into last night’s episode thinking my biggest takeaway would be the evolution of the show, the then-and-now comparisons. But my biggest takeaway ended up being what social media has done (and is still doing) to us. Of course, I understand the irony that I will tweet this recap and post it in an Instagram Story. The opportunity for real-time connection and notification is unparalleled. But I’ve long felt social media, especially when introduced younger and younger, stunts character development. It increases vanity, it feeds (and grows) the ever-hungry ego. It causes us to compare what we have to what others (appear to) have and it increases depression. It decreases our genuine curiosity in others and our ability to communicate in person. It has made us crueller to one another than ever fathomable. Watching the first ever Bachelor season, especially back-to-back with JoJo’s season of famously lacklustre contestants, really made these differences painfully clear to me. It would appear that 20 years ago, we were better tapped-in, more articulate, we had better game and we were certainly more engaging than we are today.
In the end, Alex Michel showed what an intelligent Bachelor he was. It wasn’t by choosing his future wife and living happily ever after with her—in fact, he was the first to derail the show’s insistence that a season end with a proposal, an asinine rule that is still a struggle today.

It wasn’t by being a ratings success (though it seems that first season was a roaring success, even without today’s bells and whistles). It wasn’t in altering his life and career path to 15-minutes-of-fame-adjacent notoriety. No, he showed us just how together he is by not showing up at all, by being largely untraceable, by evidently having no social media. The show, in its simplicity and honesty and legitimate “reality,” was worthy of him then. He’s far and away too good for it now.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

LANEASE ADAMS from season 1

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Вчера были оба сезона Брада:

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Sharleen Joynt on Episode 6 of The Bachelor: The Greatest Seasons—Ever!

Oooh! It feels so good to say this: Just as I enjoyed both of Brad Womack’s legendary seasons back in the day, I seriously enjoyed this recap. My perspective on Brad will likely come as no surprise—it always amazed me that folks were somehow angry with him for not choosing and proposing to either woman on his first go. If you watch this show mainly for the love story and a tear-jerking proposal, sure, I can see how he might have been a disappointment. But choosing no one is just about the most authentic ending you could get out of a Bachelor season and that’s precisely what made me LOVE Brad as a lead.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

It’s important to remember that, while being the lead is an incredible opportunity,
when it comes down to the actual ending-up-together part, all he or she ultimately
has to work with is whatever the casting department assembled for them. And how often are those contestants truly, one hundred percent cast for that lead? Just about never. (Given the extra time COVID has meant, I’d argue Clare’s upcoming season might be the most custom-cast season to date.) Thus, it makes complete and perfect sense that a lead wouldn’t feel comfortable choosing and proposing to one out of only 30 women, at least half of whom weren’t cast with him in mind. I would rather watch a Bachelor choose no one than for him to propose despite niggling doubts, only to break up off camera less than a year later. I would rather watch a Bachelor choose no one than have him propose to one woman, only to change his mind and pursue another. To me, especially considering the relatively limited pool of 30 or so candidates, choosing no one (and sticking to that decision) is some of the only “realness” left to be found in this formula.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Today, the odds are significantly worsened by social media, especially for a Bachelor. Consider that a) the viewership is predominantly female, b) in order to become the Bachelor in the first place, the man is usually beloved/popular/attractive, and c) Instagram means anyone can directly message whomever they want, no matter how famous they are. Today’s Bachelor has a real-life selection of women that Brad Womack, in his time, time simply didn’t.

It is also a selection of women that, in every department, ranging from attractiveness to accomplishment, likely puts to shame what a casting department and team of producers can come up with. My point is, even if Colton hadn’t fallen for Cassie, or if Peter weren’t dating Kelley today, their Instagrams would double as a dating app.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

On that note, while I am resisting making my recaps of these earlier seasons all about how much better everything was back then, I sadly do feel things were better a decade ago than they are now! I first had this thought while watching Michelle Money, a franchise favourite but also, in my humble opinion, one of the best and most underrated villains.

(Michelle is beloved today for her no-BS persona, but her spin as the villain was something to be relished.)

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

What made Michelle so fantastic was the fact that her questionable manners and aggressive behaviour clearly did stem from a genuine, jealousy-inducing attachment to Brad. Today’s aggressive contestants—think the Corinnes and the Demis—are a different breed. Their behaviour is “on brand” with everything else they’re selling: the comic relief, the meme-worthy one-liners. Given the direct real-life benefit to having a certain amount of airtime, there is inevitably a performative aspect to playing that aggressor role. I’m not claiming these contestants aren’t who they say they are, but they certainly aren’t playing anything down.
Meanwhile, Michelle didn’t attract airtime with her aggressive behaviour, only to defend that behaviour as a result of “true” feelings for the Bachelor; she behaved how she did because of those authentic feelings.

(The Bachelor edition of the chicken or the egg.)

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I enjoyed her conversation with Chris Harrison last night.
They discussed how, if she’d been on the latest season, she would have been perceived differently today than 10 years ago. I think there’s some truth to this.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Today, she’d likely be regarded as more emotionally invested and sincere, less like a rude woman who disregards others’ feelings, more so a woman who simply “goes after what she wants.” But I’d argue there would also be doubt from the audience, of folks wondering how performative she was being for the sake of airtime. (I know because I would be one of them.) But because of Michelle’s era, a time when there was no direct real-life gain from controversial behaviour, I have no doubts about her sincerity.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Sincerity ended up being my main takeaway from this episode.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)