A. Холостяк #24 Peter Weber

barish

Let’s be clear: PETER made this so damn hard for HIMSELF (and all the other women). HE is the one who bought into rumors, who got “influenced” into making a decision he didn’t want to make, who then wanted to undo that decision and did so in the worst way possible, yet then continued to allow women speak about one another in a way that would influence him yet again. Throughout it all, there has been a severe lack of apology on Peter’s part. In addition to the above, he didn’t apologize to Alayah when asking her to come back on the show (something I pointed out last week and which she deserved), and he didn’t apologize to the other women for wasting all their time until they (rightfully) called him out for his bullshit. Basically, he doesn’t appear to realize how his own actions are connected to the domino effect of drama in the house, something that he a) SHOULD realize, but at the very least, b) should APOLOGIZE for. I get that the dominos are set in their positions by production, but so far Peter has consistently been the one to knock over that first tile.

Alayah leaves for a second time, and suddenly the tone amongst the women (not all the women, but you know which ones I’m talking about) takes a one-eighty…

GIVE ME A BREAK. It irked me how the key players in the Alayah-bashing were suddenly all, “Gee, I hope he’s making the right decision”, as though they would have been OK with things if Peter had let Alayah stick around. This is an awfully different tune than the one they sang when he HAD made his decision, the decision to bring Alayah back.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

COSTA RICA

The gang travels to Costa Rica and we immediately get a reminder that Kelley is the realest woman of the season…

Gosh, I loved this so much. It may sound like she’s not being #grateful enough, but an overwhelming feeling we all had being on my season and doing all this travel was just this, the sheer exhaustion. I have a paragraph in my journal listing the numerous flights it took to get from Seoul to Vietnam, then from Vietnam to New Zealand. Every time we’d arrived, we had to immediately put on our outfits, “react” to the city and our hotel digs, and then start talking about Juan Pablo again. Oh, and the late nights waiting in line for ITM time and those early mornings of getting mic’ed didn’t stop. I don’t care how excited you are to be somewhere, your body and mind can only take so much. I just dug that Kelley was frank about this, and further, that it was shown!

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

At their resort, we witness a Girl Chat between Kelsey and—shocker!—Hannah Ann…

I’ve mentioned before that one of the biggest misconceptions about the contestant experience is that friendships remain consistent throughout a season. True colors come out, rooming situations change, and people just learn each other. It doesn’t surprise me at all that Kelsey and Hannah Ann, who are obviously some of the softer, sweeter personalities of the season, would end up actually being sort of friendly, despite Champagne-gate earlier on.
The above is additional evidence of how sad it is that Peter sent Alayah home for a second time (well, for a first time, too). Things change and relationships evolve. He eliminated her not only based on other people’s opinions (versus his own), but further, based on a passing, likely impermanent opinion. It’s not out of the question that Alayah might have ended up not only being able to coexist but even becoming friends with some of the very housemates who spoke ill of her. She would sadly never get that chance.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

As Sydney’s date card is read, we get a hint of Kelley’s storyline of the episode, which is that she’s having trouble feeling super confident in her relationship with Peter given it feels like it’s been a standstill for sometime. I found the editing here amusing…

By showing Kelsey and Victoria P during this voiceover of Kelley’s, it tells us that no one is more aware of who the season’s “sob story” contestants are than producers are. More on the sob story thing in a little bit.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

SYDNEY’S 1-ON-1

Speaking of sob stories, Sydney’s 1-on-1 date brings a surprising twist, which is that she too had it rough growing up…

I found this VERY interesting given I personally would consider Sydney’s behavior this season to be by far the most Mean Girls-ish (the only one to give her a run for her money is Victoria F). It just immediately stuck out to me as odd that a woman who was horribly mocked and bullied in high school would be so quick to pay it forward and judge others based on unfounded opinions. And look, we all judge people all day every day, but Sydney took it to the next level by bringing it up to Peter, ultimately playing a key role in a woman going home. This experience has the potential to be a huge deal in someone’s life—it can change your career, or it could simply be a valuable learning experience about yourself (which it absolutely was for me)—so to contribute even partially to robbing that from someone else, and for no reason other than the fact that you’re annoyed by the person (it’s not like Sydney was afraid of going home in Alayah’s place or something), is not something to be taken lightly.
Side note: I’ve been torn of late over how much of the “outside world” to include in these recaps. For years now, I’ve tried my darnedest to recap based only on what we can see when we watch the show. When I start opening the floodgates to online articles, interviews with exes, and yearbook photos, it’s hard to know where to draw the line. However, I know full well that some of my recaps naturally can’t be as comprehensive or discerning as they could be for this very reason (eg: I tried to turn a blind eye to the articles/rumors about Jed’s ex-girlfriend, something which would become a problem given he ultimately won the season. Some outside information isn’t as intertwined with spoilers but that was a tricky case for me.) This is where I need your guys’ help moving forward.
Let me explain: I’ve been sent several photos and links that suggest Sydney might not be being truthful in the above .GIF. I’m succumbing to addressing this (whether or not it’s true) because it sparks an interesting conversation about the “sob story”. There’s a strange sort of advantage to having a sob story, whether to last longer, to garner a flattering, empathetic edit, or both. Bearing this in mind as a viewer puts an interesting spin on the usage of sob stories as a whole. I’m not doubting the truth behind certain ladies’ stories (namely Victoria P’s and Kelsey’s) but it’s not a stretch to imagine some contestants fabricating (or stretching the truth on) specifics and leveraging them in order to get the most out of their Bachelor experience. It certainly marks a shift in how contestants could be evolving to keep up, “preparing” for this experience beyond simply borrowing a bunch of cocktail dresses from friends. (Ah, the innocent good ol’ days.)

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

So, bearing all of the above in mind, is including “outer” factors (rumors/articles/interviews) something you feel I should take into consideration more when I recap these moving forward? To be fair, I did have my doubts just based on Sydney’s own behavior, as I pointed out above, but is that something you’re into or do you prefer that I keep things “pure”, so to speak? I want to deliver on the best writing and analysis I possibly can, but while maintaining a life and not needing to be up on all things Bachelor, all the time. (This isn’t my job, after all!) Let me know in the comments your thoughts on this.

Back at the resort, Tammy sits down to chat with a crying Kelsey and we get a moment that truly made me laugh out loud…

Not going to lie, I burst out laughing at this. It’s not that I think it’s funny to call someone a “dramatic f-cking bitch”, but because it was preceded by “I like her a lot, she’s cool”. My takeaway from this is something I had already suspected: Kelsey’s a bad drunk. None of us can speak to how much she drinks, but we can observe how she becomes when she drinks. Champagne-gate makes a hell of a lot more sense when you assume she’d had a few too many that night.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

GROUP DATE

It’s Group Date time again, this time sponsored by Cosmopolitan magazine. Cosmo is a magazine I’ve long rolled my eyes at; there’s only so many teen-targeted articles that can be written about rocking a man’s world in the bedroom. This date didn’t do much to improve my impression of the magazine. The “wardrobe” they provided was apparently skimpy enough to require post-production blurring nearly across the board…

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

… and the best “model” prize was (painfully) obviously given to the first woman willing to ruffle feathers by kissing Peter in front of everyone. Talk about insulting to our intelligence—don’t they know we’re WAY past this?! Other than some of the women looking downright FIERCE in their photos—here’s looking at you, Shiann and Madison…

🔥🔥🔥

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

… the best thing to come out of this date was the absurd shoot with Peter and Victoria F, where so much post-production attention was paid to Victoria F’s backside yet Peter’s boner was deemed A-OK…

The combination of his facial expression + body position + bandaged forehead + boner cracks me up.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

The evening is where things begin to go awry again. I said last week that if the “villain” weren’t Alayah, it’d be someone else. Tammy began to really lose me here, and I really wish she’d resisted the temptation to throw another woman—no matter how annoying she’d found her—under the bus. Tammy, one of the many women to have been upset about missing out on 1-on-1 time with Peter due to the Alayah debacle, took that very 1-on-1 time (a mere days later) to tell Peter she thought Kelsey was “mentally unstable” and alluded to her having drinking problem. I spoke over at Flare about how wrong this is so will save my breath now. I’ll just sum this up with Hannah Ann’s PRICELESS expression the instant it became clear this was all nowhere close to being over…

We feel you, Hannah Ann.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

KELLEY’S 1-ON-1

THANK THE LORD for Kelley. I cannot imagine this season without her. In this endless ocean of shittiness, she’s our beacon of normalcy and decency and maturity and quiet confidence and self-respect. The daytime part of this date was dedicated to furthering the narrative that Kelley is not as invested in their relationship as Peter is (never mind Peter’s ongoing, involved relationships with her housemates). The juicy part came in the evening, when Peter had the gall to question Kelley…

Let’s break this down: This is Kelley’s first 1-on-1 date. The only time we really saw a fair amount of together time with these two was in Episode 2, when Kelley “won” the airport-themed obstacle course and the hotel where they met oh-so coincidentally hosted a Cocktail Party. In Episode 3, she was on the pillow fight Group Date, where the Cocktail Party would revolve around the Sydney vs Alayah saga. She did get 1-on-1 time at that Cocktail Party. That week’s Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party was the Pool Party, where I’m 99% sure Kelley was one of the 8 women to not get time with him. (Given she wasn’t one of the women who would speak ill of Alayah, it adds up.) In Episode 4, she was on the enormous football Group Date with 12 other women, and where Alayah would return—Alayah and Victoria P would end up monopolizing that Cocktail Party, followed by more of the same with that week’s Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party. In short, in terms of fair time (aka, time she didn’t sneak or steal), Kelley has not really had much time, other than sporadic 10-20 minute time slots, to “progress” this relationship. Remember, this is her FIRST ACTUAL DATE.

Another irksome thing (yes, I’m still going) is Peter’s condescending tone in the above clip. From Kelley’s perspective, she hasn’t had the time. Her perspective is every bit as valid as his, yet he shuts her down as though his is fact and hers isn’t. Further, HE and HIS CHOICES are the reasons why Kelley hasn’t felt comfortable “progressing” things. Of course, we’re starting to gather that Peter associates a woman’s willingness to “steal” him first, or to sneak away to his suite for time as an investment in him, as not being “complacent”. I HATE the way he uses this word; to go with the flow, to him, is to be complacent. Shouldn’t he WANT his relationships to develop naturally and in that go-with-the-flow way, given that’ll establish the most healthy, realistic, and fit-for-real-life relationship as possible? (What if a woman simply prefers a man to do the pursuing? That’s an understandable dating style, but based on Peter’s logic this would make the woman uninterested.) I pointed out last week the difference between showing interest and just being an asshole to your housemates; it does not surprise me in the slightest that Kelley (being wonderful) would resist doing the latter. But while Peter hasn’t really made much of an effort to give Kelley her own time and prioritizing her in any way, he’s putting it on HER for not progressing things. This is yet another example of that ever-present power imbalance, as well as the entitlement I feel Peter possesses as the lead, which I mentioned on Flare last week.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Above all (yup, still going), what I couldn’t stand was Peter’s equating Kelley “just having fun” in this situation to her not being invested in their relationship. NEWSFLASH: The early stages of a relationship SHOULD BE FUN. Just because Kelley’s not fraught with anxiety and crying all the time doesn’t mean she’s not into him. Peter mistakenly correlates the women’s stress levels with jealousy and thus an investment in him, when frankly they have nothing to do with one another—especially in this environment with so many intentional stressors. Further, jealousy is a terrible trait on which to base someone else’s interest in you. We all know those people who get upset when their partners don’t get jealous—that is NOT a healthy, sustainable factor to seek in a relationship. It just means they’re the jealous type, which speaks far more to their insecurity than how serious they are about you.

In case Kelley hadn’t already won me over, she cinched the deal when she said the following…

YES. YES. YES. What I love so much about this is that Peter was somehow insinuating that Kelley, in her lack of melting down, her lack of “stealing” time with him, her lack of aggression and anxiety, was somehow the one who wasn’t “ready” for a commitment. Kelley rightfully pointed out that it was in fact Peter who was displaying indicators of not being ready, running around like a chicken with its head cut off, “rewarding the drama” even if he didn’t mean to, simply by giving it any of his (very finite) time. I’m sorry to say I also couldn’t stand Peter’s response (I told you I wasn’t going to go easy on him). Note his head shake, like he feels misunderstood. In response to this, he says he “already explained” himself, which is such a cop-out. He’s treating Kelley’s concern with the same broad stroke he used to treat every woman’s concern, as though his vague “explanation” about not being wishy-washy is a one-size-fits-all response to any woman’s beef with his choices thus far.

In my humble opinion, by the time Peter “explained” himself, it was already too late. He had already proven he doesn’t have the confidence in his own judgment to disassociate interpersonal issues between women from his relationships with those women. This isn’t even advanced thinking—any lead who claims to be ready for marriage and children (and especially having himself been a contestant in that stressful situation) should be able to recognize this difference. In this scene, it became clear that Kelley is simply on a different level than Peter; we plainly saw what actual maturity and confidence look like, side by side with what it doesn’t look like. It’s funny how I gave Colton such a hard time last season, running between his women in his paranoia about being played, yet in retrospect he was a downright CHAMP in comparison.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

KELSEY TALKS TO PETER

I don’t usually love it when contestants sneak over to a lead’s suite but I fully supported Kelley’s decision to do so here. She was right to want to nip in the bud the suggestion that she’s unstable and an excessive drinker. You could tell she did this in as low-key a way as possible, of course promptly undone by the fact that Peter would give her a rose, revealing to the women what she’d done. For my own sanity, I have to assume Peter was encouraged by producers to give her this rose. It’s too terrible a decision in terms of automatic ensued drama for me to believe it was solely his idea. Just let me have that! I’m going to go insane otherwise!
I’ll close with section this golden quote of Peter’s…

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

Максимилиан

Хэппи-энд под вопросом, но зато драма получилась знатная.

barish

Я безнадежно отстаю, не успеваю читать Шарлин, не успеваю ничего!
Но хочу поделиться мыслями о финалистках.
Hикто их них 3-х мне особо не нравился с самого начала.
Мадисон - просто не мое. Ничего плохого не могу про нее сказать, хорошая "правильная" девушка без опыта сексуальных отношений, ее тараканы и принцыпы мне хорошо понятны.
Ханна сначала мне не очень понравилась и показалась манипуляторшей. Но оказалось, что у нее совсем другие проблемы, тоже хорошо понятные. По молодости практически невозможно быть самой собой, хочется казаться лучше, иначе думается, что никто не будет любить. И видимо в своей семье она не получала должной поддержки. Особенно в последнем выпуске я ею очень прониклась и она мне очень понравилась. Очень хорошая девушка, жаль будет, если она окажется пораненой. То, что она в последнем выпуске говорила Питеру, на это не способны даже взрослые, зрелые люди. Она на данный момент мне больше всех симпатична.
Викторию и ее постоянную драмy я вообще не переносила с самого начала! Но ей реально не повезло сначала, когда оказалось, что на концерт ее первого ИС с Питером был приглашен певец, с которым она раньше встречалась! А в ее родном городе оказалась бывшая Питера, которая после концерта рассказала Питеру о ней все сплетни! Но и ее проблемы постепенно стали понятны, а когда мы понимаем кого то, то они становятся нам ближе. На данный момент Виктория мне симпатична, она тоже хорошо проявила себя в последнем выпуске. Что достаточно необычно для меня, за девушек я теперь больше переживаю, чем за Питера. Ну зачем вот всем говорить, что он в них влюбляется и любит? Не всегда же понятно, что это говорится всем. Но Ханна просто молодчина! Вообще не для каждой такое испытание, знать, что твой жених спал с твоими подружками перед тем как сделать тебе предложение! Тут я согласна с Мадисон, у меня бы тоже не уложолось в голове, что мой жених за несколько дней перед тем как сделать мне предложение переспал с 2-я моми подружками! А потому я бы никогда не пошла на это шоу! Ханна и Виктория знали на что шли, Мадисон даже то, что он целовался с другими уже было черезчур, то, что он переспал с кем то она уже не смогла перенести, хочется же, чтобы ты была одна единственная для своего избранника! Вот ведь придумали шоу, чтобы доводить участников!
Макс, а как тебе оставшиеся девушки?

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

Максимилиан

Полностью разделяю твоё мнение насчёт Ханны и Мэдисон, а Виктория мне как не нравилась сначала, так и продолжает не нравиться. Я не могу понять, чем внешне так привлекает Питера Виктория, что с его слов у них сумасшедшая химия. Возможно, она напоминает ему типаж его кубинских родственниц? У Питера было три Мисс штата. Те две, которых он уже спровадил, готовы были в него влюбиться, а он выбрал Викторию, которая ещё и нервы ему трепала.

О чём он говорил с Мэдисон на ИС, что не узнал о её принципах насчёт добрачного секса? Какой-то он тормоз в этом деле оказался, а теперь попал в такую отчаянную ситуацию, что Мэдисон, которой он почти противен из-за своей неразборчивости, почему-то стала ему самой нужной из всех троих, но при этом стала и самой недоступной. А продюсеры ради такой драмы даже поменяли свои правила, заставляли девушек общаться в течение недели сказочных люксов, чтобы Мэдисон точно поняла, какой Питер неразборчивый шалопай (шалопай - это ещё я мягко его обозвал).

Мне больше всех понравилась Келси, хотя и у неё тараканов хватает.

Ханна скорее изображает мудрую женщину, чем является ею на самом деле. Но это чисто ИМХО.

barish

Мне тоже больше всех понравилась Келси. У нее проблема в том, что она очень эмоциональная. А в этой обстановке недолго до сноса крыши. И потом так все показывают, что кажется, что человек такой постоянно.

Мне она показалась самой искренней, открытой и толковой девушкой сезона и самой красивой тоже. Она сказала Питеру очень много ценного! Мне бы хотелось, чтобы она стала Холостячкой, я просто никого там больше не вижу на эту роль.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Я не думаю, что то, что она говорила Питеру было мудростью. Просто тот уровень открытости, чтобы высказать то, что было для нее важно, был для нее особенно очень высоким. Она хотела, чтобы он знал, что он для нее очень-очень важен, что бы ни случилось! Кто то другой не смог бы этого сказать, особенно на ТВ шоу. Всех же разбирают на молекулы, обсуждают, осуждают!

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

А какая связь между внешностью и химией? Мне кажется химия всегда сама по себе и не всегда зависит от внешности. Хотела написать тебе свои мысли об этом, но потом решила посмотреть что об этом пишет Wikipedia, оказалось, что это в ней есть только на английском:
In the context of relationships, chemistry is a simple "emotion" that two people get when they share a special connection. It is the impulse making one think "I need to see this [other] person again" - that feeling of "we click". It is very early in one's relationship that they can intuitively work out whether they have positive or negative chemistry.
While the actual definition of chemistry, its components, and its manifestations are fairly vague, this is a well documented concept. Some people describe chemistry in metaphorical terms, such as "like peanut butter and jelly", or "like a performance". It can be described in the terms of mutual feelings - "a connection, a bond or common feeling between two people", or as a chemical process - "[it] stimulates love or sexual attraction...brain chemicals are definitely involved".
И т.д. А я хотела написать, что иногда ощущения связи, притяжения, желания быть вместе совсем не основаны на внешности, мне около года не нравилась внешность моего будущего мужа, я постоянно с собой боролась по этому поводу.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

Максимилиан

Я считаю, что химией в данном контексте называют действие инстинкта продолжения рода, то есть комплекс процессов и гормонов, которые этот инстинкт реализуют. А внешность для инстинкта продолжения рода как раз на одном из самых первых мест.

barish

А как объяснить пары, в которых один партнер очень красивый, а другой совсем нет? Почему у таких пар может быть много детей? И есть пары, которые совсем не собираются иметь детей, для них важнее всего найти свою половинку.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

Максимилиан

Мне нравятся твои мысли, но так мы можем уйти в другую сторону от отношений Питера с Викторией. Пока мне непонятно заявление Питера о сумасшедшей химии между ними, но я не утверждаю, что её не может быть. Как предположение я высказал, что она может напоминать ему кубинский или латинский типаж, который на 50% записан в его генофонде. А ещё может быть такое предположение, что сумасшедшую химию между ними искренне видит только Питер, а Виктория просто хочет обойти конкуренток. Или продюсеры так хорошо обработали Питера, что ему там мерещится сумасшедшая химия.

barish

Это я поняла и да, лучше вернуться к их отношениям. Для меня то, что он сказал про химию, как раз все объяснило и все стало понятно. Если до этого я вообще не понимала чем она ему может нравиться, то узнав, что у них сумасшедшая химия, все тут же встало на место. Потому что, как там было написано, когда у людей химия, то они все воспринимают по другому. А сумасшедшая химия может быть у кого угодно, у людей разных рас, которым никто никого не напоминает, как это было у Рэчел и Браяна.
Я не поняла почему Питер первой пригласил Викторию на 2-е ИС в то время, когда со многими у него еще и 1-го то не было.

Но его безумно к ней тянуло, а первое ИС было испорчено продюсерами, которые вовлекли в него бывшего Виктории и она в итоге расстроилась.
Нет возможности написать сейчас все то, что собиралась, потом продолжу...

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)