A. Холостяк #24 Peter Weber

barish

No season would be complete without a visit from a former lead, usually in the context of suggested lingering feelings, and this season gets going with that early. Hannah arrives to return Peter’s “wings”, and you can cut the sexual tension here with a knife…

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Night One progresses as usual, but you knew I’d have to point out the editing surrounding the arrival of the First Impression Rose. If you’ve been reading my recaps for awhile, you’ll know the ladies were told to sit in that familiar U-shape formation to wait for something to happen. (They did not just happen to be sitting, all squeezed together like that). Now note Jade is sitting two over from Mykenna, but for Mykenna’s stressed-out expression at the rose, it’s Maurissa in that spot. That expression was taken from a different moment entirely and likely had nothing to do with the FIR…

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

During 1-on-1s, Mykenna tries to steal Peter from Natasha, whose no-BS response immediately made her a favorite of mine…

Year after year there’s always the question of “can the Bachelor turn down a steal?” since he always seems to say yes. So the above lesson is that you ask him and NOT the woman he’s speaking with.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

GROUP DATE #1

The first Group Date is the traditional relay race, this time with an airport theme, because in case you forgot, Peter is a pilot. The moral of the story on this Group Date (and Night One for that matter) is that playing fair gets you nowhere, while cheating gets you far.
Who’d be emotional and upset and ready to blow if the race’s winner had NOT cheated? In this sense, Shiann has been doing herself no favors. She was increasingly upset Night One for having her time robbed by someone who’d already had it (Hannah Ann), enough to confront Hannah Ann about it. When Kelley “won” the race, Shiann cried—not for having lost, but because of the injustice of it all, which trust me, I can relate to. I am #TeamShiann because I too am a person who values fairness, manners, meritocracy. That said, Shiann’s crucial mistake was showing just how upset she was. Doing so would seal her fate, ensuring that any future 1-on-1 time would be stolen from her and her specifically, by women who’d already had time of their own.
As Kelley makes her way to interrupt Shiann’s 1-on-1 time, you can practically see in her face, as she fights a smile, that this was not her idea…

Yes, Kelley’s a willing offender in this moment because everyone knows by now how frowned upon it is to steal time if you’ve already had it (especially if you’ve had as much as she’s had). And only so much can be blamed on producers; after my 1-on-1 date in Korea, I made it clear going into that week’s Rose Ceremony that I wouldn’t try to get 1-on-1 time with our Bachelor, and no producer tried to change my mind. (They didn’t even mention it; perhaps they saw me as a lost cause.)
But remember, everything else about Kelley’s above move is not plotted by her. Given they’re in a hotel, I seriously doubt she’d even know where to find Peter if it weren’t for producers’ directions, and I also doubt she even knew it was Shiann she’d be interrupting. Meanwhile, it was (of course) no coincidence that it was poor Shiann whose time would be cut short. Also, note how they COULD have sent Hannah Ann to steal from Shiann again, but because what irks Shiann most is the unfairness of being interrupted by someone who’s had their share of time already, Kelley was sicced on her this time around.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

MADISON’S 1-ON-1

I find it verrrry interesting that Madison was chosen for this particular date. I mean, whether or not it was the show’s idea in the first place that Peter’s parents should renew their vows (news flash: it most likely was), it’s still a pretty major date on which to be taken. Meanwhile, as we get to know Madison better, it’s coming to light that she’s cautious (her word), moves slow in relationships (also her words), and has managed expectations for this experience (in an ITM she said, “There’s hope… there’s someone really great out there… and hopefully it’s him”—NOT “It’s him, he’s my future husband.”) Thus, I feel it’s no coincidence that one of the more pragmatic, careful ladies of the season would be taken on the most involved, investment-inducing, designed-to-fall-fast date.
Peter’s parents continue to be some of my absolute favorite Bachelor parentals of all time. I LOVE that his father isn’t afraid to cry. He moved me with his choked up Hometown Date moment last season, and did so again on this date…

COULD HE BE ANY SWEETER. I should also mention that I have a soft spot when it comes to mentions of the passing of time, of wondering where it went. Nothing says contentment and happiness like time passing quickly, as bittersweet as that is.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

In the evening, Madison officially wins my heart along with Peter’s. I LOVE that she could openly admit how much she loves her parents and their relationship, how she sees the positive qualities she loves about her dad in Peter, and how she’s always said she wants to marry someone like her dad. Some people would criticize this as weird, but I seriously relate to this. I adore my dad and it’s no coincidence that he and Andy share many traits. I just love the self-assuredness and maturity this statement shows, and to me it proves that, even at 23, she very possibly is ready for all this. (As opposed to talking about how “ready” she is, as others have done in the past.)
Finally, the cherry on top, Madison says something that it AMAZES me more people don’t say…

UGH, YES. As I’ve said over the years, this isn’t dating musical chairs. Sure, getting cast on this show involves a lot of chance, but from Night One forward, it’s not. And love how grounded and realistic Madison is, how she doesn’t NEED it to be her, and how confident and well-raised that sentiment proves her to be.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

GROUP DATE #2

The ladies are brought to a theater where Hannah tells them an in-a-nutshell story about her sexual past with Peter. She then provides the traditional tenuous connection to the Group Date activity (because apparently telling an audience a personal story about sex somehow makes you more confident in yourself or your sexuality). I continue to get a kick out Natasha, who responded to this blatantly BS explanation with…

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Peter is sent to find happens upon Hannah crying alone and what ensues is the post-Bachelor/ette conversation of our dreams. Let’s be honest: conversations like this have surely happened. There have definitely been post-season regrets, breakups, and hookups. But rarely are we privy to witnessing such conversations, and I’ve got to give producers credit for managing to get this in all its glory ON CAMERA.
That’s not to say it was uninterrupted, uncut footage. There were a couple of sticky editing spots, and one in particular stood out to me: Peter asks Hannah if she’d consider coming on the show, yet her response feels… off. Her initial “I mean” is definitely real, but in the next shot, Peter suddenly has to look over his shoulder to see her. Also, the fact that we don’t see “maybe” come out of her mouth makes me seriously doubt she said it (at least in this moment)…

I don’t think Hannah would seriously consider this, which is why I doubt she’d respond with a semi-encouraging “maybe”. My sister and I discussed this and agreed it’s (unfortunately) highly unlikely Hannah would return, given it’s pretty unheard of for a former lead to “demote” herself by going on another season as a contestant. This led to a pretty funny rundown on which were the biggest “demotions” in Bachelor history. We established the runner-up to be Jake Pavelka on Bachelor Pad, and the winner to be Ben Higgins on Winter Games. (Did we miss any? Let me know!👇&#127996

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Finally, Hannah reminds us why she’s an all-time favorite by tearing back the 4th wall for the gazillionth time. We’ve always been led to believe that the new Bachelor or Bachelorette is completely over their heartbreak, that they were crowned the new lead for being ready and available and highly eligible—NOT that they became ready and available and highly eligible in order to become the lead. But what Hannah is basically admitting here…

… is something we’ve always known but have never been able to prove: contestants can and do want to be the lead, they do gun for it, and do behave in certain ways to achieve that goal. Case in point, Hannah is right to defend herself when Peter asks why she didn’t ask him out over Tyler, why she didn’t reach out. It was an entirely reasonable assumption that Peter would be intentionally remaining as single as humanly possible in the interest of not messing up his chances at Bachelor. He would be like 99% of leads in doing so. It’s also easy for him to say, in retrospect and now that he’s starring on his own season, that he would have wanted to hear from her. But when faced with the mere possibility of a relationship with Hannah, who had already hurt him and deemed him her third choice on national television, versus the guarantee of being the star of his own season… I’m not so sure he would have chosen her, to be honest.
The entire conversation caught on camera, in my humble opinion, reeks of production (not that I’m complaining). People on this show continue to confide in and trust their producers long after filming, and it just seems too convenient and too perfect that, in this hyper-connected world and given their history, these two would somehow have remained two ships in the night. I’m not saying they were expressly told to do (or not do) anything, but there’s no way the power of suggestion didn’t pave the way for this scene.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Tammy

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Courtney

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

"It’s Not *Really* About the Champagne":
Sharleen Joynt on The Bachelor Episode 2

Talk about an unsatisfying ending to one of the franchise’s best and most suspenseful cliffhangers.

It’s not so much that I needed or even remotely expected Hannah to join the season, but last night it felt as though the jig was up before it even began.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

There wasn’t any pretending Hannah might have stayed, nor that she might have even considered it, to the point where I felt like the dummy for buying what they’d sold me with such gusto last week. The scene picked up where it left off, only there were no words left—just a lot of fraught, hauntingly non-platonic “goodbye” embraces that I think were supposed to feel like closure but left us with more questions than answers.

Is that it, then? We’re sweeping that scene under the rug?
Peter said in an ITM, “I don’t know if I need to feel that love with someone else to fully move on, I don’t know if I have to fully move on to feel that love with someone else.” I happen to believe in distraction, in the fact that meeting an incontestably better match can instantly wipe clean the “what-if” slate of a former flame. But that tends to work if and when you actually gave the first relationship a go, when you dated enough to know each other’s flaws, to know what didn’t work between you. Not only did Peter and Hannah never really date (Windmill Sex doesn’t count!), Hannah will always be the one in power, the one who got away. Peter never had her long enough to become annoyed by her, to lose his starry-eyed reverence for her, for her to lose her Bachelorette sheen. Not to curse this season or anything, and I’m sure Peter is very happily engaged today, but I’ll put it this way: I personally wouldn’t want to wind up engaged to a man who looked at an ex—an ex he never truly had the opportunity to date—the way Peter looked at Hannah.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Lately, I’ve cut back on pointing out the many inequalities between the lead and his contestants. This is mostly because there’s little point; with so many women and only one man, and millions of viewers making up what’s essentially a national popularity contest, of course there’s going to be a power dynamic imbalance (one that won’t ultimately serve either the Bachelor or his chosen woman at the end, but I digress). However, the scenes following Hannah Brown’s departure really ground my gears. After that Group Date’s ladies had pointlessly toiled away on their “sex stories” for God knows how long, Peter resurfaced to apologize and tell them how emotional seeing his ex was, and that he needed a Time Out. The women, of course, had no choice but to nod understandingly, smile through gritted teeth, and take whatever time with Peter they could get that evening.

This highlighted one of the biggest hypocrisies of this franchise to date. When our Bachelor is completely and unquestionably over the woman who broke his heart, that serves as fuel in accentuating how eligible he is.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

However, as this season has been the first to illustrate, when he is clearly (and borderline disturbingly) not over her, it’s skimmed over like it’s nothing. Meanwhile, if it were to ever surface that a woman there had an on-and-off again boyfriend, or still harboured feelings for her ex the way Peter obviously does for Hannah, she’d be skewered by the show for being all Wrong Reasons-y.
I couldn’t help but root for Alexa, who was right to ridicule Peter: “What were you thinking??” (I know none of it was his idea but this still entertained me!) The wonderfully no-holds-barred Natasha wasted no time in pointing out how Hannah Brown’s constant presence probably wasn’t conducive to Peter’s moving on.

But worst of all is how pointless it likely felt for the women. The number of hours spent being made to discuss Hannah, Peter’s relationship with Hannah, what Hannah and Peter were probably doing or talking about… I’ve said before that one of my biggest peeves during the filming process wasn’t actually feeling overlooked or un-special, but rather feeling like my time was being blatantly (and even intentionally) wasted. Of course, as I said last week, Hannah is terrific television and I’m not complaining when I get to see more of her, but it’s at times like this where production becomes an elephant in the room, a necessary evil that is the root of every problem but that you just have to accept and routinely shrug off for its absurdity. You don’t get a TV love story, Insta-fame or the once-in-a-lifetime experience without a certain degree of nonchalance.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Kelsey might have benefited from heading into filming with that mindset

That girl has got to recognize how at play the producers are, of being able to brush off
and overcome the bad hand she was dealt.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I know full well what an emotional pressure cooker the environment is, but it’s awfully early
to be so dramatic over something so minor, and this show’s been around long enough that all
contestants should know that reacting strongly only increases the size of the target on their back.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Champagne-gate was so obviously a puppeteered saga, it was tough to
relate to Kelsey’s insistence that Hannah Ann purposely “stole” her champagne.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

(I mean, what was there to gain by Hannah Ann in stealing it? Also, there was literally another bottle of champagne—the decoy bottle—set up a short ways away, WHICH KELSEY DRANK.)

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I recognize that it’s not really about the champagne (hell, I have a 5-year old bottle of champagne in the fridge right now and I couldn’t care less if it went missing), but rather a thinly-veiled insecurity over not feeling seen or heard, over not being given a fair chance, of having her opportunity stolen. In that sense, part of me does feel for Kelsey. It stings when the moment you’ve crafted and built high expectations for has been abruptly taken from you, especially in that competitive environment. And if there’s anything we learned last week, it’s that the cookie that is a Bachelor season does not crumble fairly. It breaks off in disproportionately large chunks for the Madisons and Hannah Anns, leaving measly crumbs for others to fight over.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Unfortunately, Kelsey was too quick to allow a strategically hidden champagne bottle to become
production’s gift that kept on giving. It felt like Kelsey already had a bone to pick with Hannah Ann.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)