(-)
 
  (-) > >

a #15 Hannah Brown


! !
 
22.07.2019, 22:21   #876
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

Even though it required several .GIFs, I wanted to capture the following exchange between Jed and Hannah because there were a lot of little things I felt were worth mentioning. First, I REALLY appreciate how Hannah converses. Watch her listen to and process Jeds comment, a comment that could easily be taken as criticism. She doesnt automatically retaliate or become defensive when criticized, something MANY peopleespecially young peopletend to do. She understands where hes coming from and wants to know what the result is, how he feels based on this. Shes not making it about her; its not about her looking good but rather about how her actions affect him. Not only does this show an impressive level of curiosity and concern for others, but it shows how polar-opposite she is to Luke.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
22.07.2019, 23:28   #877
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

Jeds response may not have answered the question, but it was his other mic-drop moment of the episode. I like the thinking that you can see happening in this conversationthey make each other think. Once again, Hannah deserves kudos for not becoming defensive or reactive to thisdespite the fact that you can tell from her expression he might not be far off. She also deserves kudos for not being thrown off the scent. She doesnt miss for a second that Jed didnt answer the question, so she attempts to feed it to him
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
22.07.2019, 23:30   #878
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

and this is where Jed, in my humble opinion, steps into too-far territory

Language and specificity in these situations is SO important. Im pretty sure what Jed meant was that Hannahs insistence on keeping Luke makes him (understandably) second-guess what he thinks he knows about her, and that (naturally) causes him to pull back emotionally and tread with more caution. But thats very different than using the word retract when talking about feelings that have already been expressedhes basically saying her keeping Luke around has caused him to withdraw his feelings for her. That sounds more like a subtle threat, like an its him or its me argument. Its just ironic to me how, in his attempted takedown of manipulative Luke, Jed ends up sounding a bit manipulative himself. Obviously this is a far more mild and subtle case, and Jed was very quick to RETRACT these words. But yeah in a sea of very solid arguments and statements, and Jed clearly being a thinker who can challenge Hannah (something I do appreciate), this stood out to me as going one step too far.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
23.07.2019, 01:39   #879
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

LUKES OVERNIGHT

Eyebrow Watch continues as Luke tells Hannah just how thankful he is to be with her in Santorini. I JUST CANT anymore with the over-emoting of these eyebrows. The thing is, I feel like he probably is thankful and he certainly has good reason to be, but Ill be damned if I dont consider everything he says BS based on those brows
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
23.07.2019, 01:57   #880
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

In the evening, FINALLY, we get the big scene thats been teased for weeks. It pains me to dissect this any more than I already have. I am so over Luke, you guys. Though I have plenty here, I dont want to make any more .GIFs of him (I seriously hope Im nearing the end of my Luke .GIF-making days) or analyze why what he says and does is wrong. I want this guy off my television screen.
I am a very live-and-let-live person and legitimately cant understand people like him: People who righteously think theyre somehow righting the worlds wrongs, whoin the name of their Godthink its their place to assert their beliefs on others. People who, in bringing things back to language and specificity, cant leave their goals and beliefs at what THEY want or what THEY see as right, but declare them to be the way things are supposed to be
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
23.07.2019, 02:44   #881
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

Im over the delusion, the gaslighting that feeds that delusion, the dodging of responsibility, the turning around the blame
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
23.07.2019, 02:45   #882
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

Im over watching a person who doesnt know how NOT to contradict himself (and doesnt possess the self awareness to even know to try)
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
23.07.2019, 02:46   #883
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

Im over the intense JUDGMENT, the sense of superiority, the Holier Than Thou entitlement, pretending to be accepting and to seek out a solution but using even that as a way to paint himself a saint
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
23.07.2019, 02:49   #884
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

Im over the sheer idiocy

Im sorry, but this man is just not intelligent. First of all, he cant read social situations. His above so-called confidence is based on his assumptions, not his gathering and processing of intel. Second, if he were so confident, he wouldnt need to follow the above sentence with I just want to hear it from your mouththat is his insecurity talking, the very opposite of confidence. Third, I cannot stand when people mix up beliefs and morals. In what world is choosing to have sexsomething you do with your bodynot morally sound? It is FAR more amoral to judge others for what they do with their bodies.
Some of the most devout people out there justify awful behavior in the name of religion. Meanwhile, plenty of people with zero faith or spirituality are often deeply good, moral people. Morality is (and should be) shaped by ones upbringing and values based on that. I would actually argue that its terrifying to consider that morality would be predominantly defined by religious beliefsthat just means the fear of God and the desire for reward (aka my rant about Heaven two weeks ago) cause someone to be good, not because they just know right and wrong and possess a conscience. Again, as Ive said all season: I have no issue with anyone having their own beliefs, and for those beliefs to shape how they view or engage in sex. But those beliefs and morality are not the same thing.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
23.07.2019, 02:51   #885
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

Im over a man that behaves like a petulant boy when he doesnt get his way. Just watch him grasp at straws, at counterarguments to hurl back at her. And even more scary: watch him convince himself of them. You can SEE the moment where he thinks of his argument and convinces himself he is the victim in this scenario

Its honestly scarythis is the kind of personality that has the potential to commit horrible crimes because he convinces himself hes doing them for good, or claims he had no choice and was forced into it. This is a person who constantly creates new realities for himself.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
23.07.2019, 02:53   #886
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

Above all, and the real clincher: Im over a man who claims to care for and love a woman, yet has zero respect or curiosity for who she is as a person. Note how he never seems to ask Hannah any questionshe wasnt even interested in hearing out her beliefs involving sex before or after marriage. Note how him opening up to her is always him telling her how she should behave, not revealing any real flaws or vulnerabilities of his own. Note how he completelyand routinelydisregards her feelings, her opinions, her desires

These are all disturbing signs of what an emotionally abusive partner looks like. Compare this .GIF to Tylers above, the one I said to file away for later. On one hand, we have a persona person who doesnt know diddly-shit about Hannahs thoughts/opinions because he has zero curiosity in her or otherswho has the gall to tell her those very opinions/feelings are wrong. Compare him to Tyler, who speaks of loving, honoring, and respecting each others boundaries. Exhibit A = boy. Exhibit B = man.

Finally, Ill close with an excellent Word Watch: He says he loves me and its like, no you dont if its so contingent on if I fit into what is morally acceptable for your wife to be. Its like f you dude.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
24.07.2019, 10:34   #887
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

"It's Easy to Underestimate Him": Sharleen Joynt on The Bachelorette
Episode 11

Its no secret by now that I love Tell Alls. I say it every season: theres nothing like watching how contestants choose to behave in the now, having seen how America responds to them. What will they say in a situation where they have the most control over their edits theyve had all season, and which contestant whose name you cant remember is going to disproportionately stand out? Theres a whole new level of potential analyses!
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
24.07.2019, 20:41   #888
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

Unfortunately, last nights Men Tell All on The Bachelorette was fairly lacklustre.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
24.07.2019, 20:48   #889
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

First, as someone who enjoys these, I already feel Tell Alls are on the short and rushed sidemore often than not, Im left wanting more. So, while I get wanting to keep us on the edge of our seats with last weeks Rose Ceremony cliffhanger, it ate too much into valuable, only-once-a-season time.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
24.07.2019, 20:50   #890
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

Further, while it was entertaining from a karmic perspective to watch Luke P. get re-kicked off the show, part of me felt a bit icky about it.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
24.07.2019, 20:59   #891
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

After all, theres no chance he wasnt encouraged to return, supported in his belief that Hannah might have had regrets.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
24.07.2019, 21:13   #892
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

Hell, he was likely instructed to stand in the Rose Ceremony line up, to insist that all he needed was five minutes of Hannahs time to redeem himself and possibly their relationship.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
24.07.2019, 21:14   #893
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

Yes, the guy is god awful and possess zero self awareness. But it certainly doesnt help when he has a miniature devil on his shoulder, encouraging him to do things and behave in ways that will only make him look worse.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
25.07.2019, 00:17   #894
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

Heading into the Tell All, things only got worse. The show paraded Luke P. out first, knowing full well hed learned no lessons and hadnt changed in the slightest.

(Again, Id be surprised if he wasnt supported in not learning lessons and not changing; he was likely told to stick to his guns and not allow himself to be misunderstood.) Literally, an entire half of my precious Tell All was The Luke P. Show, including long bouts of silence where everyone sat and waited for him to piece together sentences defending himself. As a recapper, its irritating. Recapping Luke P. at this point is to sound like a broken record: How many times can I call him manipulative, delusional narcissist? Im out of words to describe him and his actions.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
29.07.2019, 06:23   #895
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

In keeping up with my Tell All tradition, here are my top three most memorable moments:

3. Strength In Numbers

There was no better example of there being fire where theres smoke than in the men banding together against Luke P. last night. You would have to be crazy to think Luke P. was somehow done wrong by his edit based on how many guys got involved. With villains at Tell Alls, there are usually one or two contestants who (sometimes surprisingly) come to their defence, revealing friendships editing never allowed us to see. (A perfect example of this is was Casey defending super-villain Courtney Robertson at Ben Flajniks Women Tell All, proof that she wasnt as friendless as she seemed.) Luke P. had no such support, the ultimate sign that what we saw really is what you get with him. But what I especially enjoyed was how surgically the men involved took him down.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
29.07.2019, 06:42   #896
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

Dont get me wrong: I dont actually think its possible to truly take down Luke P. since he clearly doesnt process or absorb feedback; he just alters his reality so that hes never in the wrong. But the men still deserve credit for not only criticizing Luke P., but for identifying what makes him a worrisome potential partner. Mike, with a chilling sentence because of how accurate it is, predicted Luke P.s future wife would be a prisoner of his if he doesnt change.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
29.07.2019, 06:52   #897
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

Connor S identified one of Luke P.s biggest issues being the fact that his actions never matched his words; they had waited for the change hed promised but it never came. Garrett pointed out how Luke never apologizes until after the fact, caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Grant jumped in to emphasize that no means no, a concept with which Luke apparently struggles. Jonathan correctly pointed out that Luke projects his faith onto others. Finally, Dylan, with perhaps my favourite contribution of the evening: Its 2019, man you cant talk to a woman like that. It was a rousing segment with confident, well-spoken men who respect women, and was a bittersweet reminder of how much goodness we missed out on thanks to Luke P.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
29.07.2019, 06:56   #898
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

2. Clapback Queen

Its incredible to remember the Hannah we got to know on Coltons season, the self-conscious woman who could barely articulate the most basic of emotions, who struggled to make a toast. There is real confidence and quick wit in ones ability to talk back and defend yourself in the moment, and especially to do so in mic-drop fashion as Hannah routinely does.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
29.07.2019, 06:59   #899
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.

I dont know if its her upbringing or what, but Hannah has mastered this unique skill. From how she refused Luke P.s pleas to just talk at the Rose Ceremony

(Im not going to let you rewrite what you said the other night), to her rightfully calling him a narcissist, to her putting him in his place about Fantasy Suites (Fantasy suites arent just used for sexyou may not know that because you havent had one). But best of all was the emphasis on her hard learned lessons, her realization that the very thing that had brought her and Luke P. close togethertheir shared faithhad been weaponized against her. This crime was something weve watched unfold for weeks, but I would have remained unsatisfied had Hannah herself not realized and labelled this abuse correctly.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   
29.07.2019, 07:03   #900
 
  barish
 
: 43,543
"": 11,053
.


Even her apology to Bachelor Nation at the end of the episode, while unnecessary, showed a true awareness of her having enabled Luke P.
__________________
The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me. (c)
barish   



.
HTML .
Pingbacks are .
Refbacks are .


a #12 Jojo barish 917 21.06.2021 01:35
a #11 barish 906 13.05.2021 04:37
a #14 Becca Kufrin barish 1474 18.11.2020 04:52
a #13 barish 1217 25.09.2020 06:25


: 09:53. GMT +3.
vBulletin® 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. : zCarot