Холостячкa #15 Hannah Brown

barish

In the evening, Hannah once again gives a peek into the lead experience…

First, it’s rare to admit to feelings for multiple contestants this early on. (You usually get this sort of confession at the final two or three.) Next, I find this thought process (of sort of sitting and holding back) to be the most believable. I’ve always found it weird to imagine a lead so willingly “falling” and becoming invested in multiple guys knowing it’s just a matter of time before a brutal reality check. I know it’s part of their job description to lead on and fall for several guys and the environment is designed for it. But myself, being the sort of person who prefers to underpromise and overdeliver, or to manage expectations (both for myself and others), I have a hard time fathoming getting to the point of feeling feelings of “love” for a few people knowing there’s a rude awakening just around the corner.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

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TYLER’S 1-ON-1

Tyler’s 1-on-1 of exploring Amsterdam on horseback seemed nice and breezy until it’s revealed he has a fear of horses. SHOCKING. I got a good kick out of him attempting to be his usual chivalrous self and to take control and lead the way, but to no avail…

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

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I mentioned last week how happy I was to hear Peter be upfront with Hannah about how frustrating it was to be lumped in with all the drama when he himself hasn’t been involved. This week, Tyler took a similar stand, expressing how cancelled Cocktail Parties impact Hannah as much if not more than it does the guys…


I LOVED this. My beef with the Cocktail Party cancellations this season is how they’ve been used as punishment. Guys “misbehaving” means time with Hannah withdrawn. But the above is completely true. HANNAH needs this time with them. It’s not just about contestants using their limited time wisely to make a good impression. They each can only focus on her but she’s the one who’s juggling relationships. She’s the one making decisions. She’s the one for whom everything is supposedly at stake. Time is information. By canceling numerous Cocktail Parties, she’s punishing herself by limiting information with which to make her all-important decisions.

I mentioned last week that I’d be amazed if at this point production wasn’t encouraging Hannah to cancel Cocktail Parties since it elicits guaranteed anger and drama among the men. Hannah’s response to Tyler’s statement in the above .GIF supports that theory in my mind. Observe how she’s the one who wanted him to explain but she doesn’t even acknowledge his subsequent explanation. She doesn’t explain herself or even agree, just sidestepping and changing the subject completely.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

In the evening, Hannah touches on something that, as I said in my The Morning After video, shows thoughts on marriage and partnership beyond her years…

Now, I’m not saying that when I was 24 I wasn’t aware of what I loved or didn’t love about how my parents communicate, or that I didn’t recognize or value being on the same page as the guys I dated. But at 24 I was wrapping up a Masters degree, partying with my friends, considering a move to Europe, in an on-and-off long distance relationship, and in the “off” moments, enjoying dating all sorts of guys. My mind just wasn’t really on finding a husband, much less how we would communicate 10 years into our marriage. But let me be clear: I point out the above as a compliment, not a criticism. I have friends in their 30s who still prioritize superficial things when it comes to dating, not valuing things like communication skills and shared values enough. There’s too much emphasis on attraction and not enough on what makes a good partner. So while a part of me thinks 24 year olds should just chill and only get married if the right person conveniently comes along, I do think if you do want to tie the knot this young, then by all means you should absolutely approach it with Hannah’s longterm mindset. I’m impressed.
Oh, and Word Watch. Hannah: “Tyler just completely cracked open and showed me more of his heart and allowed me into things I think are really hard for him to talk about. But he did that with me a that shows me a lot about the trajectory of our relationship.” 👏🏼👏🏼

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Back at the hotel, Mike’s date card arrives. A few things stood out to me here. First, I like Mike but felt his reaction to getting this date card was inconsiderate, bordering on obnoxious. You can get a date card and smile quietly to yourself and express being excited (as Peter did perfectly last week), but out of respect for your fellow housemates, save your celebrating for your ITM. Mike’s ear-to-ear grins, many of which were in an obviously disappointed Connor’s direction, felt not only rude, but almost like the two of them have some sort of beef we were never shown. (I don’t actually know, mind you, but this analysis reflects how over-the-top Mike’s smiles felt to me.) And lest you think Mike’s smiles were taken out of context, note where the guys on his left are looking (in Connor’s direction) when he’s grinning, as well as when Connor leaves the room. Second, note Connor’s Direct-Look-Into-Camera™ as Mike’s name is called and he realizes not only is he not getting another 1-on-1, but he now has to talk about it…

Consider how Connor received the season’s first 1-on-1, how he’s been encouraged to fall for Hannah every step of the way, and how his producer has likely been egging on how into him Hannah is and how a date card is surely coming his way. In the above clip, you can really feel palpable irritation on Connor’s part with having to participate in a Man Chat. Connor is disappointed and maybe a bit pissed, but above all, he just wants to be alone and doesn’t want to be made to talk about it. But he’s made to sit there and do just that. I often get asked, “But are contestants really FORCED to do Girl Chats/Man Chats? Can they really be forced to do anything?” Of course not, but watch how Connor getting up and leaving was accompanied by dramatic, angry music. It’s possible he just needed 10 minutes to himself to decompress, but it was painted as being a rather explosive exit. Now imagine if someone did this all the time, or perhaps in addition to getting a villain edit, and if this person was generally a pain in the ass to work with. You can see how things can add up and how it wouldn’t work in his—or his edit’s—favor to behave that way.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

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MIKE’S 1-ON-1

Heading into his 1-on-1, in an ITM, Mike repeats Hannah’s aforementioned Word Watch. Mike: “Today we literally could change the trajectory of my entire life.” DOUBLE WORD WATCH. 🌈🌈
Andy laughed so hard at the following line, making me realize how funny it was, and then it of course became .GIF-worthy…

You don’t say!
Mike’s entire 1-on-1 felt patronizing to me. It was clear from Hannah’s body language on their first 1-on-1 that this was more of a friendship than some great romance. Mike was this season’s contestant to be taken for a ride only to get sent home on a pre-Hometowns 1-on-1 date. This could very well work in Mike’s favor, however, given Hannah was crowned Bachelorette from the same fate.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Back at the hotel, we get the first brewings of Luke conflict of this episode. I really like how Tyler, who appeared quiet and restrained earlier in the season, is really coming out and shutting Luke down on the regular. Most importantly, every point he makes is absolutely correct…

This is the kind of thing you notice about certain people in real life, those people around whom drama always seems to swirl, with both friendships and romantic relationships. There comes a point where you just want to say, “But maybe you’re the common denominator?” But notice how Luke responds to a completely different point than what Tyler was making. He cannot process introspection, the consideration that maybe it IS him, but rather pounces on an irrelevant technicality.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

As Mike’s suitcase is taken away, Luke cannot comprehend why the guys are pissed with his positive response…

It sometimes feels like Luke wasn’t properly socialized as a child, like a puppy who doesn’t get to play with other dogs. Like, DUH, Mike going home ups your odds of getting a rose. The math is too simple to warrant describing. But social grace and aptitude means not openly celebrating when another guy’s suitcase is taken away.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

GROUP DATE

On the Group Date, Luke proves how consistent he is by, in his precious minutes with Hannah, bringing up and talking shit about other guys. In doing this, he’s also breaking Hannah’s own rule of not “warning” her about other guys. Because, of course, this is all only out of concern for her. Note how Luke tacks that at the end of his point like an afterthought, as though there’s any relevance to Garrett’s behavior towards him and how that might translate to her…

Something about the above feels so much like a child, unable to solve his own conflicts, whining to his mommy to make the bad guys go away.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I’ve been hearing whisperings that people don’t like Garrett. I find this a bit surprising as I feel Garrett’s main downfall is taking on and attempting to shut down Luke, an obviously pointless endeavor. Watch how painstakingly and meticulously he traps Luke in his lie, yet how Luke then simply creates a new lie—a new reality—with which to deflect blame…

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

In the evening, Luke brings out the big guns, and by big guns I mean his shower with God story. Andy and I laughed SO HARD at Hannah’s face flinch in response to Luke claiming to have caught a glimpse of Heaven…

… but what made this .GIF-worthy was what he said afterwards. This is (one of) my issue(s) with Christianity and the claim that having faith automatically makes you a good person, or even a better person than someone who doesn’t. I’m all for the inner peace, the inspiration, the community faith can provide. But when it’s in the context of securing a place in Heaven, aka ultimately being rewarded for good behavior… well, I find that hypocritical. The whole point of being selflessly good is to do so with no benefit, no anticipation of a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I’m actually fine with that—I don’t think behaving well with the intention of being rewarded for it is a crime—but at least call a spade a spade.
Later in this same conversation, and as much as I laughed when he said this, I have to admit that it counts as a Word Watch. Fair is fair. Luke: “I hated chasing my fleshly desires.”

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I had to make a .GIF of the adorable moment Peter returned to the hotel and Jed and Tyler showed unabashed excitement and affection for him…

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Finally, something that caught my attention was Garrett kissing Hannah goodbye and telling her not to hide her “red nose”…

It’s interesting to me when we’re shown references to past conversations but never actually shown those conversations. This reminds me of last week, when Hannah thanked Dylan for all the things he’d shared with her… except we never saw any of that. It would appear Hannah and Garrett spoke about her (adorable) red nose and perhaps he expressed a fondness for it, but we’ll never know. It’s like hearing a punchline but without the joke.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

"This Feels Wonderfully Feminist": Sharleen Joynt on The Bachelorette
Episode Nine

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly tables can turn, how the lasting impression of someone on this show can completely transform and do a 180 over the course of one episode. Think about how easily our minds can be changed—and how powerful a little persuasive editing can be—so that within one episode, a hero turns into a villain, or vice versa. Last season, Hannah became the season’s “crazy” contestant over the course of one episode, then became the I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar poster child in another. Now, I’m in no way suggesting Luke P. was redeemed by his Hometown.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

His many crimes and stomach churning moments are still far too fresh for even the warm-fuzziest of Hometowns to remedy. But it was still fascinating to watch how someone like him could be so adored and respected by not only his family, but his community. In real life, outside of a pressure cooker designed to bring out your worst traits, it would seem even a narcissist has his tribe.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I’m not going to lie, I found this to be a lacklustre Hometown episode. I’m willing to admit it could be because I went in with high expectations: Nick Viall, a friend whose opinion I respect (and who gets episodes in advance) told me on Sunday before I watched that this episode was a good one. I agree it was good to the extent that it was different—we’ve never seen anyone take all four contestants into Fantasy Suite week.

And in a way, I love that it’s a Bachelorette season where that’s happening; I’ve always believed sexual compatibility is a MAJOR factor in how destined for success a couple may be, and it feels wonderfully feminist for a female lead to require exploring that before feeling confident in who she keeps or sends home. In fact, it’s always struck me as a bit absurd that Hometowns would be before Fantasy Suites. It should SO be the other way around!

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

That said, this episode oscillated between feeling painfully rote and painfully patronizing. On one hand—the rote hand—there were the stereotypical Hometowns, filled with feel-good family time, questions about the contestant’s readiness for marriage and parents fearing their child’s heart getting broken but doling out their blessings nonetheless.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

There was also the now-standard questionable Hometown, where the lead gets attitude from the guy’s family and ends up leaving with more doubts than when she arrived. The one exception was Tyler C.’s Hometown which, in the aftermath of this father’s health scare, made for a truly moving visit.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

On the other hand—the patronizing hand—I am unconvinced last night’s Rose Ceremony wasn’t at least partially an act.

Having been on the show and knowing very well how real everything is—or rather, how real everything can feel—I personally don’t think I’m one to overanalyze or doubt this show’s “realness.” (When people stop me on the street to ask me if the show is “real,” my answer is yes.) But—and again, having been there—I also know how little is left to chance. A contestant can’t even have the briefest of interactions with the lead without first consulting with a producer what he plans on discussing with her. (I remember telling my producer I’d rather go in with no plan, to just see where the conversation took us naturally, and being told what a bad idea that was.) My point is, a contestant can’t wing a 10-minute conversation, yet Hannah can wing the Final 4 Rose Ceremony? Give me a break.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

There is little to no chance producers didn’t fully know where Hannah stood and that she didn’t feel comfortable sending anyone home. (Just imagine the hours’ worth of ITM conversation on the editing room floor.) There’s also little to no chance The Powers That Be didn’t have an inkling of Luke P.’s thoughts on premarital sex, and—being bonafide experts at spotting potential drama weeks before it occurs—the crucial fire that could spark. I’m not saying I’m 100% positive the entire Rose Ceremony was BS and that Hannah was acting.

That said, I challenge you (seriously, do this!) to rewind your DVR, re-watch that Rose Ceremony through this lens and tell me I’m not onto something. Hannah was shaking and crying uncontrollably at sending home Mike last week—a relationship that doesn’t come close to comparing in intensity—yet she barely sheds a tear over potentially sending home one of these four guys? Nope. Not buying it.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Finally, while every other lead ever has HAD to axe a contestant after Hometowns, I highly doubt Hannah received much pushback over keeping all four. I’d even wager she was offered it as an option. Not only is she the first to do it, making it—gasp!—“unprecedented,” but the other guys are automatically irked Luke P. is still in the mix, providing yet another source of conflict.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Last night was the first night all season where we saw Jed legitimately pissed off, at the thought that he’d be categorized the same as Luke P.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Keeping all four men wasn’t only something that felt spoiled by the previews—it’s something that provided too many opportunities for drama for The Powers That Be to pass up on.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

My frontrunners and predictions based on episode 9 are…

1. Tyler C., 26

Tyler’s Hometown truly tugged on my heartstrings. While I have my doubts that he’s really ready for an engagement, I do believe a parent’s illness can change your perspective and priorities. The chemistry these two have continues to be through the roof, but something I picked up on last night that I haven’t noticed as much with the other couples is that Tyler C. seems to make Hannah laugh. Hannah tends to be the funny one in her other relationships, but Tyler holds his own with her. We haven’t seen of ton of Peter’s or Jed’s humour—I would actually argue Jed is on the dry side—and given how I know women prioritize this (and rightfully so), it has nudged Tyler up into my tip top spot.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)