A. Холостяк #23 Colton Underwood

barish

There was nothing on the line and no new information. This was like watching a strong Paradise couple go on a date, except at least then, you get the couple finally professing their feelings for each other in a formal date setting.

We’d already seen far too much of Cassie and Colton dissecting their relationship. Even rappelling down that cliff felt tired and old.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

5. The Fantasy Suite.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Seriously?? They’re about to go have Fantasy weekends together for four months. With no sense of their relationship being at risk, watching a couple go to bed together—especially paired with the constant reminders about Colton’s virginity—just felt a bit creepy, voyeuristic and like none of our business.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

6. Having a “panel” of Bachelor Nation alums weigh in on said already-inappropriate feeling Fantasy Suite. In case it didn’t feel creepy enough on its own.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I know this show is a big ABC moneymaker and that they probably had this two-hour slot scheduled ages ago, but this show needs to revisit the concept of leaving people wanting more.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I thought we were nearing the end when it turned out there was still another 70 minutes to go. There’s no way even The Powers That Be were thrilled about having to turn this into a two-hour spectacle. I can just picture them now: “Ugh, we still need 18 more minutes. Let’s bring in Ben Higgins again.”

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I might have felt differently if both of the two stars of last night’s finale were really charismatic, well-spoken people who were good at articulating their many feelings. And honestly, I’ve really come around with Colton. He may not be the most electric personality, but he’s turned out to be a really strong, clear-headed lead who ultimately managed to wield this show to work for HIM, as opposed to the other way around.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

He wouldn’t have been the first lead to grow confused enough to choose the wrong woman (à la Arie or Jason Mesnick), so it is a testament to his knowing himself and his needs that he was able to resist losing his way.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

He certainly has more gut instinct than most in his position. I swear, he even became more eloquent as the season progressed, and while some of his actions earlier in the season had me questioning his maturity and readiness for marriage and a family, he really proved me wrong in these later episodes. Consider me a #TeamColton convert.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

As for Cassie, while I felt for her last night (especially while walking into the
lion’s den of meeting his family),

and I do recognize her youth, watching her during this episode (much less understanding her) was a challenge.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Her ability to express her feelings, on a show all about having feelings and expressing them, could use some work.

Her default mode, in the face of being required to talk about her emotions, seems to be to talk about being overwhelmed or confused. She has a tendency to speak many words yet actually say nothing (or the same thing over and over again).

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

It made for a very trying last hour or so of a love story that I’d otherwise be gung-ho to root for. Because, the thing is, I LOVE that Cassie challenged this show’s strict and unrealistic timeline.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I LOVE that, sans that timeline, Cassie and Colton seem to be working out great, proof that the tired format could stand to be shook up a bit.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I LOVE that Cassie, without the pressure of viewing her relationship as a horse in a race against others, has found that love could, in fact, blossom naturally.

These are all great shifts for this show and, as much as Colton’s grand gesture gave us a happy ending, it’s Cassie we have to thank for them.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

But, though I would normally be cheering for each of the above feats, the exhausting way
they were delivered just made me want it all to be over sooner than later.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

One of the joys of being further removed from my time on the show and the people on it is that I can be more and more brutally honest with each passing season. (Obviously, it’s much harder to write critically about people you are personally friends with or have met/might meet.) So, five years after my season (!) and with that honesty in mind, I have to ask this question: Have we ever seen a turnaround as drastic as Cassie’s?

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

In the four months since filming, and during a period of time that most happy couples find the most challenging, she went from barely lukewarm to glowing with love and excitement on last night’s live segment.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

On one hand, I do think it’s possible. Like I said above, it’s possible it truly was the circumstances holding her back, not the fact that Colton wasn’t for her. But I still have many swirling thoughts: I do think it’s possible to fall in love with how special someone so in love with you can make you feel.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I do think it’s possible that all the current adoration and attention lends a rosy hue to a relationship one might otherwise feel ho-hum about. I do think it’s possible that the Happy Couple getaways add excitement and novelty to a relationship which, if you were together more often, might grow old. (In other words, the months during which Happy Couple getaways occur are hardly representative of a real life together, hence why so many previously happy couples find real-life relationships so difficult.)

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I also think it’d be impossible to be lost on Cassie that she unfortunately had precisely two options:
1) end things and be hated across America for inadvertently robbing Colton of his happy ending, or,

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

2) fall in love, land a People magazine cover and be adored across America. (Literally, those were the poor girl’s options.)

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

The cynic in me is all too aware of the reasons on that list. The non-cynic in me believes that Cassie just needed time and camera-free privacy, and that she truly loves Colton; that part of me wholeheartedly roots for them as a couple. The one thing I do know is that only time will tell with these two. In the meantime, I’m very pleased they’re not rushing anything and I wish nothing but the best to our new happy couple.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Finally, Hannah B is Bachelorette!

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I think we all knew this crowning was a possibility after her strong Women Tell All showing. I for one have no problem with this decision.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Like Cassie, Hannah B isn’t great at articulating her feelings, but she’s the first to admit it and can poke fun at herself over it.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)