A. Холостяк #23 Colton Underwood

barish

As for the ad nauseam virginity talk, I’ve decided I’m OK with it only as long as Billy Eichner’s the one delivering it. (I mean, hey, if you’re going to exploit it all season, at least let us laugh at how ridiculous that exploitation has become.) Colton gets bonus points for gamely laughing along…

The red team wins and gets to spend the evening with Colton while the yellow team goes home. Never mind that these senseless elimination-based competitions are the most counterintuitive approach to Colton getting to know all the women and finding his future fiancée. I say this every season but hey, IT’S TRADITION.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

In the evening, there’s a fantastic meta moment when Caelynn basically narrates the cuts back to the mansion…

Little did she know that this very cut to the mansion would be used to hear Hannah B talk shit about her.

We see one of the many ways contestants on this show are manipulated during Heather’s 1-on-1 time with Colton. Heather had been debating over when to tell Colton she’d never kissed anyone before. Her argument (revealed during a chat with Cassie) was that she didn’t want to be KNOWN for that. (I’m sure she really appreciates her bio reading “Never Been Kissed” as her occupation.) Now, this is totally reasonable. You can see why she might want to wait until, say, their 3rd 10-20 minute conversation to reveal this, right? WRONG. Remember what Chris Harrison said at the beginning of this very episode (and at the beginning of pretty much every Episode 2):
“Time is EVERYTHING. And so, when you have time, when you can find it, take advantage of it.”

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

It’s no coincidence contestants tend to tell their leads their life’s stories and air out their dirty laundry, and FAST. They’re constantly being told to not let their precious time go to waste. I’m not saying that time isn’t precious—it’s actually downright ridiculous how little time you have together (unless it’s a 1-on-1, but even then you’re looking at two 1-on-1 dates max before introducing him to your parents)—but rather, you can see how that can quickly become a tool used to manipulate people into revealing things they might not normally, far sooner than they might feel comfortable with.
Heather even SAYS, “I was gonna wait to tell you”. I mean, if this isn’t someone feeling pressure to reveal something sooner than she really wants to, I don’t know what is…

Of course, in Heather’s case it works out alright since she ends up getting the Group Date rose, but my point remains, dammit!

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Finally, the red team gets “an incredible night, camping out under the stars with Colton”. These were Chris Harrison’s actual words. Talk about false advertising…

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

ROSE CEREMONY

At the Rose Ceremony cocktail party, amid a very strange interaction between Onyeka and Sydney involving an air horn and pots and pans (I’m team Sydney, btw—Onyeka started it 🤷🏻*♀️), we get a rare behind-the-scenes glimpse of the food and drink situation…

Spreads like the above are at every single Rose Ceremony cocktail party, giving you insight as to how early those can start (before dinnertime) and long and late they run. Regular cocktail parties don’t have food spreads like this.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

While the ladies gawk as a robe-clad Demi leads Colton up the stairs, Annie delivers a great, almost accusatory Direct Look Into Camera™…

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I personally found the interaction between Demi and Tracy very strange and wonder if you guys agree with me. It seemed like the kind of conversation that ended with a resolution, except we weren’t shown that resolution. First, the shot of Tracy sobbing into a towel feels like it would have been from when she first went up to that room, not later, after she’d cooled off a bit. So right off the bat I’m suspicious of the sequence. Next, Demi talking about Tracy’s “story” and her as a “storyteller”—doesn’t it seem like we’re missing something? It feels like we weren’t shown Tracy’s words to which Demi was responding. Lastly, Demi was shown simply walking down the stairs as though she left Tracy to sob away. Given Demi appeared to make a modicum of effort with Tracy (whether or not you deem it authentic), this wrap up seems unlikely…

Also, let’s be honest: If this did end badly, or even mildly coldly, you KNOW we would have seen it. I know for a fact that the conflicts shown on this show are actually often resolved, yet those resolutions are conveniently left on the editing room floor. I’m not saying these two are good friends, but I don’t think this conversation went down the way it was shown.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

The Bachelor: Episode 2303 (1/21)

WHICH LUCKY WOMAN WILL BE COLTON’S BEST MATE ON A PIRATE’S ADVENTURE? ELYSE AND COLTON SPEND A FUN-FILLED DAY WITH CHILDREN,
AND WHO WILL BE CROWNED ‘BACHELOR’S STRONGEST WOMAN’?,
ON ABC’S ‘THE BACHELOR,’ MONDAY, JAN. 21

Actor and Former NFL Star Terry Crews and His Wife Rebecca King-Crews Work Out the Contenders for the ‘Bachelor’s Strongest Woman’:

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Comic Actor Fred Willard Returns to Do Play-by-Play of the Epic Contest

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

“2303” – Yo, ho, ho and avast, matey! Eight bachelorettes perform in a spectacular live “Pirates Dinner Adventure” show, spilling over into an intense competition between two women, to capture Colton’s attention and affection.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Shiver me timbers! Eight women arrive at the arena that showcases the swashbuckling live show “Pirates Dinner Adventure.”

Captain Colton greets them in full pirate regalia and introduces them to the professional performers

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Who dress the ladies appropriately from head to toe

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

And then supports them through a challenging pirate tutorial.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)