A. Холостяк #23 Colton Underwood

barish

Sharleen Joynt on The Bachelor Premiere!
Sharleen Joynt shares her insider’s POV on last night’s Bachelor premiere.

I went into this Bachelor season with fairly low expectations and, last night, I’m sorry to say those expectations were met.

I’ll be straight up with you: I wasn’t 100% on the Colton train for Bachelor.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I was quietly rooting for Jason, whose upstate New York edge, legit career, and famous knee-buckling kisses I think make a great catch and would have made for an entertaining season. I think it says a lot that I have several beautiful, intelligent girlfriends who confessed to having mini-crushes on Jason. One such friend actually began the application process for season 23, in case Jason were to be crowned Bachelor!

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I don’t mean to sound anti-Colton. We all knew Colton would be a strong candidate the second we first saw him on Becca’s season of Bachelorette.

But it was on Paradise that he began to win me over, and we finally saw some of his real personality and sense of humour peek through. I was only sad he left as early as he did, though I realize greener Bachelor pastures were beckoning.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I think Colton is a fine, if not obvious choice.

He’s got the all-American looks, the pro-athlete background, the requisite sob story (insecurities in his youth; an injury that ended his football career), and many good traits (he is clearly kind, charitable and respects women) that I realize make him a good candidate. And I shouldn’t be too hard on him since Night One is exhausting and infamously shows NONE of the lead’s personality. But I still can’t help feeling a bit ho-hum at this point, and so far he hasn’t dropped any zingers or witty quips to curb that feeling. Looking at things optimistically, I think Colton has the potential to be a bit similar to Chris Soules as lead, where he’s not necessarily the most eloquent or suave of Bachelors, but is ultimately more endearing for it. We’ll see if I’m right about this.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Unfortunately, tropes that feel passé were alive and well last night. OF COURSE the two pageant girls—Hannah B’s Miss Alabama and Caelynn’s Miss North Carolina—would be painted as rivals despite the fact that they appeared to have no issue with one another and got along perfectly well. OF COURSE there’s the girl who repeatedly interrupts conversations—Catherine, at the encouragement of her producer, to be sure—to get more time with the lead.

The way her actions spread like wildfire throughout the house and ruffled feathers along the way no longer felt like any version of reality, but rather like a predictable series of events, methodically set in motion.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

OF COURSE at least one woman wore a full head-to-toe costume.

OF COURSE Colton’s virginity was whacked over our heads repeatedly.
That is what I was dreading about this season: endless reminders and the obvious exploitation of Colton’s virginity. Instead of feeling like a personal decision of Colton’s that could be respected and tastefully addressed later on, perhaps during a deep 1-on-1 date conversation, it felt like a tired old lifeboat, desperately clung to and squeezed for all it was worth. (And for the record, I don’t blame Colton for this; he has explained his reasons before.) It was obvious that every woman was asked specifically about Colton’s virginity during their intro video ITMs. There were way too many virginity-related limo exit gimmicks to be coincidental, and I would bet money that women with concerns were encouraged to voice them to Colton directly during their FIRST (and possibly last) conversation with him. I completely understand a woman’s reservations about his virginity from a dating perspective, and in terms of television programming, I can respect that this is a unique and interesting facet to Colton. But, as Nicole said in an ITM, I think it’s a personal decision and not exactly Night One material. If this is only the start, I can’t imagine how much of it we’ll be force-fed later on, especially come Fantasy Suite week. If production doesn’t start showing a bit of restraint over their excitement that Colton HAS NEVER HAD SEX (you don’t say!), this is gonna be one loooong season.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

On a lighter note, I’ll keep up with my tradition of singling out my favourite ladies—those who aren’t in my Top 4—based on their Night One showing. I was immediately drawn to Kirpa, who evidently understands the art of the updo (her hair was on point)

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

and the importance of flossing. (Seriously, it IS a dealbreaker!)

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

She may have gone home, but Alex D’s sloth was hilarious—talk about commitment!

—and, sans the sloth head, she gave me major Anna Kendrick vibes.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I had a good laugh over Bri’s Australian accent and, despite the fact that it was never resolved (we were never shown her 1-on-1 time), I was impressed she was able to follow through with that with a straight face.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Katie spoke to me in her 1-on-1 conversation with Colton, where she touched on the importance of maintaining one’s individuality in a relationship (I couldn’t agree more).

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Onyeka gets all the prizes for confronting Catherine in what felt like a sincere effort to not just talk behind her back and to prevent further discord. And I’m already looking forward to Nicole’s and Erika’s funny, dry commentary throughout the season.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Sharleen Joynt’s Top 4 Following The Bachelor Premiere
1.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

2.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

3.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

4.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)