A. Холостяк #23 Colton Underwood

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Behind-the-scenes diary of The Bachelor season premiere

It’s a little after 4 p.m. on a late September afternoon in Southern California, and Mike Fleiss, creator of The Bachelor — one of the most successful reality TV franchises of all time — is at the mansion watching his new star, Colton Underwood, being interviewed by host/unofficial relationship therapist Chris Harrison.

Colton — a dimpled, 26-year-old former football player who looks like a Ken doll’s beefy older brother — has never slept with a woman. This fact featured prominently in his story line in season 14 of The Bachelorette, where he made it to the final four but was sent home before the overnight “Fantasy Suite” dates, and in season 5 of Bachelor in Paradise, where he cried a lot and went home alone. It will also play a big role in the upcoming Bachelor season — see the cheeky tagline: “What does he have to lose?” — which will follow Colton as he dates a gaggle of single women and narrows them down, one rose at a time, until proposing (probably) to the last lady standing.
Though Harrison, who is communicating with producers through an earpiece, finds at least a half-dozen ways to ask Colton about his virginity, the Bachelor maintains that going all the way — sexually, at least — is not his top priority. “I want to come out of this engaged,” he says firmly.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

In a little over 12 hours, Colton will take the first step in his quest to find a wife, when 30 anxious sequin-draped women arrive and filming on The Bachelor’s 23rd-season premiere (set to air Jan. 7) begins. For the first time in the show’s 16-year history, Fleiss, ABC, and Warner Bros. (which produces the franchise) have allowed a reporter — nay, a reporter and card-carrying member of Bachelor Nation — to be on site for the shoot. EW was there from the first limo exit to the last bitter tear — an all-night odyssey that revealed the astonishing amount of hard work, organization, and manpower that goes into making this big, dumb reality dating show that millions of us (7.9 million on average, to be exact) love so very, very much. Along the way, I learned the answers to many Bachelor burning questions: What does Chris Harrison do all night? How long does a rose ceremony really take? And what on earth is the “meatball theory”? Take my hand, rose lovers, and let the “journey” begin.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

7:00 p.m.

The sun is setting when I arrive at the Bachelor mansion in Agoura Hills. “Do they still film porn over there?” asks my Lyft driver as he drops me off. I laugh and promise to give him five stars.

There’s a stucco building at the base of the driveway — staffers have dubbed it “the barn” — that doubles as a production office. (The barn was destroyed six weeks later in the massive California wildfires.) I’m escorted up the hill to the main house, past a craft-services tent and a beautiful white horse tethered to a trailer, waiting patiently for its moment of reality TV fame. (Later in the evening, one of the contestants will arrive to meet Colton in a horse-drawn carriage.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Cameras need to roll as soon as it’s dark; with 30 women to introduce, filming on night 1 can take 10 hours or more, so dawdling is not an option.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Inside the control room, which is situated at the far end of the house, members of the production team sit at long tables facing a wall of monitors.

In the back of the room, employees of ABC and Warner Bros., along with a steady stream of guests — including Fleiss’ mother, Nancy — file in to watch the show. Some are carrying plates of barbecue from a nearby restaurant, which the team orders on every night-one shoot.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

The mood in the room is festive as the crowd of spectators grows, but the work continues apace.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Inside, many, many candles have been lit — I counted 109 in two rooms alone — by a special-effects expert who stays on site to help maintain the romantic atmosphere.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Outside, Colton and Chris Harrison stand on the driveway (which crew members just sprayed with a hose, because the flagstones look better on camera when they’re wet) as director Ken Fuchs blocks the first shot: the Bachelor arriving at the mansion.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Colton asks for some Binaca and sprays it in his mouth. Though some fans weren’t excited when he was named Bachelor — especially the vocal contingent rooting for Blake Horstmann or Jason Tartick, both former Bachelorette contestants — Fleiss feels confident in his choice. “People get angry no matter who we choose. The only person who didn’t seem to piss people off was Juan Pablo!” he marvels, referring to the sleazy season 18 star, now considered the Worst. Bachelor. Ever. Colton “looks the part, he’s an all-American kid, a football player,” says Fleiss, adding that the Bachelor’s virginity “creates added stakes” for the season. “Colton represents the biggest potential to create a lot of drama and romance.”

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

8:04 p.m.

The first limo arrives. Colton looks a bit anxious; he’s massaging his right palm with his left thumb absentmindedly. “He’s nervous!” notes Fuchs. “Get [a shot] of his hands!”
Stage manager Paul Danner opens the limo door and talks to the women: Wait for your cue, exit the limo, stand by the door for a beat, walk to Colton and introduce yourself, then walk around the fountain and into the house.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Viewers know Danner as “Big Paulie,” the show’s de facto bouncer — he’s appeared on camera several times over the years, escorting unruly contestants off the premises — but behind the scenes, the 6’ 3″ Army vet is essential to the production.

“My job is to keep everything going smoothly, putting out fires when we can,” he explains. Still, he’s always ready to break up a fight if necessary. I ask him if he sees any potential troublemakers in the bachelorette bunch. “Not yet,” he says. “It’s hard to tell on night 1.”

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

8:07 p.m.

The day before, Fleiss asked his team to send a “big personality” out of the limo first. They chose Demi (23, interior designer), and she has an opening line all picked out: “I have not dated a virgin since I was 12.”

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

About 10 minutes later, a woman named Kirpa (26, dental hygienist) emerges from the limo, picks up the black hose that production uses to wet the driveway down, and gives the flagstones another spray.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Then she walks up to Colton and says, “Is it wet around here or is it me?” The control room erupts in a chorus of studio-audience ooooooohs.
Almost instantly the broadcast-standards rep on hand to monitor the proceedings for ABC pipes up from the couch. “We’ve gotta get an alternate,” he says, telling a network exec that the joke was “too suggestive.” (It did not make the final cut.)
“Jesus Christ, she came out swinging!” exclaims Colton once Kirpa is safely out of earshot. In the downtime between limos, he consults with producers, one of whom asks the Bachelor about each of the five women he just met: “What did you like about her?” “Are you attracted to her?” The hose joke, Colton says, was “a little awkward.” Another producer asks Colton if he needs anything. “More wine,” he replies. One limo down, five more to go.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

8:25 p.m.
The first five women sit on the couches in the mansion’s “mixer room” — fans know this as the living room where Harrison always drops off the first date card — making small talk and introducing themselves. “I have to pee!” says one nervously. A producer standing nearby informs the women that if they need the bathroom, they should just ask. “Are we allowed?” replies the contestant with a giggle. The other women continue chatting, ignoring the trio of camera operators filming them from about 10 feet away. “He’s so f—ing cute, oh my God,” sighs one. “I love all your dresses,” says another.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

8:57 p.m.

Wardrobe supervisor Cary Fetman runs a lint roller over Colton’s suit. Fetman is responsible for every single thing the Bachelor wears all season, from socks to suits, and he’s thrilled to dress a man who will wear something other than blue — unlike last year’s Bachelor, Arie Luyendyk Jr. “I kept saying to Arie, ‘You’ve got to try a different color. I know your eyes are blue.’ If [Colton] was going to put himself in blue every day, I’d kill myself.”

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Meanwhile, the Bachelor gives himself another spritz of cologne as he talks with producers about the women he met in limo No. 3. Courtney (23, caterer) stood out to him: “She’s very confident.”

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

When the next limo arrives, a woman emerges wearing a brown, furry sloth costume.

“I…heard…you…like…to…take…things…slow,” she says in her best slo-mo voice. The control room explodes with laughter. “What has this show come to?” groans exec producer Martin Hilton with a smile. After her exchange with Colton, Sloth Girl enters the mansion and tries to explain the joke to her fellow contestants: The Bachelor is a virgin, so when it comes to relationships, he takes things slow. “It’s a pun,” she continues. The women smile and nod their heads politely.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Later, I ask exec producer Bennett Graebner if the women come up with the limo exit gags themselves. He gives me a look that can best be described as Oh, please, before clarifying that the contestants will bring ideas to the producers, who then “workshop” the concept with them until it’s TV-ready. But, he adds, the women are not just assigned silly intro gimmicks by producers. “Never,” says Graebner. “Then you’re just asking people to act. I like people to be memorable, but I also want them to be themselves.”

9:34 p.m.
For one woman, being herself means teasing Colton about his tendency to go commando (a habit he revealed on Bachelor in Paradise). After exiting the limo, she hands him a gift-wrapped package containing his “favorite brand of underwear.” The box is empty. Once the bachelorette is inside, Colton announces to no one in particular, “God, I wish I was wearing no underwear right now.”

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

10:35 p.m.
The limo exits are done, but before Colton can enter the mansion and mingle with his harem, he has to film a pregame chat with Harrison.
The host’s goal is to get the Bachelor talking enthusiastically about the women he just met (“Do you think your wife might be in that group?”), but he also has to contend with questions conveyed to him by producers via an earpiece. “Do you feel like your virginity is at risk?” yells Fleiss from the back of the control room. Graebner repeats the question to Harrison, but a few minutes later the host still hasn’t asked it.
“Without being disrespectful, I don’t always agree with the producers on what they want [from the interviews] or how to get it,” Harrison tells me later. Though he understands why producers are hitting the virginity issue hard in the first episode, he also doesn’t want Colton’s sexual history to be reduced to a “cocktail joke.” And while Fleiss and the producers are “geniuses,” says Harrison, “there is a safety to sitting in the back of the control room and yelling something out. You’re not the one standing in front of a 6’ 3″ former NFL football player.”
After being prompted twice by producers, Harrison pops the “Is your virginity at risk?” question. Colton — who spent two hours hearing strangers joke about his “cherry,” his “V-card,” etc. — laughs it off. “I feel like three or four of them tried to take my virginity on night 1!”

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

10:50 p.m.
Exclusive: Bachelor contestants eat. In the lull between the limo exits and Colton’s opening toast, some of the women start wandering into the kitchen to nibble on the offerings, which include crudités, bruschetta, beef yakitori, and fruit. “If you need a drink, now is a good time to grab one,” suggests a producer. (Contestants are allowed two drinks per hour, a rule that was instituted after a sexual encounter between two drunk Bachelor in Paradise participants in 2017 raised questions about alcohol and consent.) The producers mostly stay in the kitchen or next to the adjacent bar, though they occasionally walk into the mixer room to chat with the women directly. One contestant confesses, “It’s definitely different than I thought it would be.”

11:05 p.m.
“We’re only one hour behind schedule,” notes Graebner. In a few minutes, Colton’s one-on-one chats with the bachelorettes will begin. With 30 women and more than 80 staffers crammed into the mansion during filming, finding space for the Bachelor to have quasi-private chats with each potential wife requires impressive organization. The producers are in constant communication with Fuchs, who must monitor Colton’s current conversation while setting up the shot for the next one. Most of the setups are simple enough, like a two-shot of Colton and a bachelorette by the fireplace.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

But sometimes the women have cutesy ideas for production to execute, like Tayshia (28, phlebotomist), who arranges for a “county fair” in the mansion’s driveway, complete with popcorn, a ring toss, and a cornhole game.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

The first one-on-one goes to a brunette, who brings Colton a pair of white sneakers and some markers.

The Bachelor gamely engages in the coloring activity, but in the control room, Fleiss disapproves. “She’s annoying,” he grumbles. “She’s a ratings killer.”

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)