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Arie Luyendyk Jr Холостяк #22

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Старый 28.02.2018, 07:39   #1226
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Another lightning rod was Bekah’s age.

I can absolutely understand the frustration of thousands of people projecting what THEY think 22 years old looks like onto you. But within this experience, you simply can’t blame a 36-year old for worrying that you, a 22-year old, might not be ready for marriage. If a 22-year-old IS ready for marriage and kids, she has to realize she’s the exception, not the rule. To me, one of the most telltale signs of getting older and more mature is growing more mellow. Myself and almost everyone I know have become more patient, more empathetic, more aware and more understanding of the other side of every coin, of the shoes others walk in.
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Старый 28.02.2018, 07:41   #1227
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I agree Bekah may be that exception—she possesses the insightfulness and confidence of someone WELL beyond her years—but I think letting the perceptions of others about her age roll off her back a bit more, instead of having her fists up about it, would go a lot further in showing that.
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Старый 28.02.2018, 08:06   #1228
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Of course, I’m all too aware of the producer push (and Paradise incentive) to stand out and make one’s opinions known. I just suppose that, overall, I was expecting more of an effort to see eye to eye with one another and less feuding and defensiveness months after the fact. Oftentimes, while those issues from filming are addressed and further debated at the Tell All, they at the very least close with a resolution. We didn’t really get any of that this time around.

As is now my Tell All tradition, I’ll single out my top 3 moments…

3. Bekah vs. Tia

This is the best example of a feud that, in my opinion, should have resolved at least somewhat. Bekah held a grudge that, back in episode 7, Tia had taken it upon herself—without first mentioning it to Bekah—to express doubt to Arie regarding Bekah’s readiness for marriage and children. Again, as I said above, I do agree that it would be incredibly frustrating to have so many people project what they see as “ready” onto you and proceed to hold that standard against you. (Bekah argued that just because she wasn’t in Tia’s exact place of commitment to Arie, it didn’t make her not as viable a candidate, and this was an excellent and accurate point.) Unfortunately, in response, Bekah doubled down on Tia. She said that Tia didn’t know her and that she didn’t know Tia, which is valid, yet proceeded to make a sweeping statement about how Tia had said her former boyfriends were all assholes (using Tia’s words—humble words—against her) while differentiating that her boyfriends had always treated her like a queen. Whether or not this is true, this hit below the belt and was inconsistent with (and ultimately negated) her argument that they didn’t know each other and therefore didn’t have a right to an opinion about each other’s experiences.
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Старый 28.02.2018, 08:06   #1229
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Of course, I’m all too aware of the producer push (and Paradise incentive) to stand out and make one’s opinions known. I just suppose that, overall, I was expecting more of an effort to see eye to eye with one another and less feuding and defensiveness months after the fact. Oftentimes, while those issues from filming are addressed and further debated at the Tell All, they at the very least close with a resolution. We didn’t really get any of that this time around.

As is now my Tell All tradition, I’ll single out my top 3 moments…

3. Bekah vs. Tia

This is the best example of a feud that, in my opinion, should have resolved at least somewhat. Bekah held a grudge that, back in episode 7, Tia had taken it upon herself—without first mentioning it to Bekah—to express doubt to Arie regarding Bekah’s readiness for marriage and children. Again, as I said above, I do agree that it would be incredibly frustrating to have so many people project what they see as “ready” onto you and proceed to hold that standard against you. (Bekah argued that just because she wasn’t in Tia’s exact place of commitment to Arie, it didn’t make her not as viable a candidate, and this was an excellent and accurate point.) Unfortunately, in response, Bekah doubled down on Tia. She said that Tia didn’t know her and that she didn’t know Tia, which is valid, yet proceeded to make a sweeping statement about how Tia had said her former boyfriends were all assholes (using Tia’s words—humble words—against her) while differentiating that her boyfriends had always treated her like a queen. Whether or not this is true, this hit below the belt and was inconsistent with (and ultimately negated) her argument that they didn’t know each other and therefore didn’t have a right to an opinion about each other’s experiences. I agree that Tia probably shouldn’t have said anything to Arie in the first place (you guys know by now this one of my golden rules—it’s almost never a good look), but in the grand scheme of backstabbing and shit-talking on this show, it really was on the mild side and didn’t appear to be carried out with any malice or disrespect. Overall, I wish Tia had shown a bit more remorse for talking to Arie about it, and that Bekah had met her halfway and let it roll off her back the way I wish she would’ve let the age thing roll off her back, and that the two might’ve hugged it out. Sigh.
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Последний раз редактировалось barish; 28.02.2018 в 08:13.
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Старый 28.02.2018, 08:25   #1230
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2. Same ol’, same ol’

Unsurprisingly, in a display of the very lack of self-awareness that got her into this mess in the first place, Krystal proved completely incapable of reflecting on her experience, her reception or the feedback of others, and was, in short, the same ol’ Krystal.
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Старый 28.02.2018, 08:31   #1231
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As she did on the show, she played victim every chance she got by saying how hard the process was for her and what a toll it took on her. She continued to speak in mostly stock statements; to Jacqueline’s astute comment that Krystal’s condescension didn’t take into account the other women’s feelings or their own relationships with Arie, Krystal pulled out old faithful for the millionth time: “I was just focused on my relationship with Arie.” And that was when she DID respond. Bekah wisely pointed out, “At the end of the day, the easiest way to deal with it is just to go, ‘Yeah, I was a bitch. I’m sorry.’” Krystal’s response to this was the same speechlessness she had for Kendall on their 2-on-1 date; she fake-laughed, clearly didn’t have an applicable stock response and finally copped out with, “I’ll just bite my tongue”, as though she was intentionally taking the high road (yeah, right). Finally, as she did at every turn while filming, she simply could not accept blame and had to point it elsewhere. Case in point, when Caroline berated her for calling the other women the c-word, Krystal somehow thought this was the right time to scream, “ARE YOU F—ING KIDDING ME?!” She proceeded to attack Caroline for mocking her during the season, as though Krystal herself hadn’t mocked or talked shit about anyone.
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Старый 28.02.2018, 08:40   #1232
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I guess, in conclusion, if you can’t take blame and apologize for calling women the c-word—especially when you’re a woman who claims to love and support other women and speaks in inspirational quotes—you’re a lost cause. In a way, Krystal remains deliciously maddening to watch.

But last night, watching her also inched toward sad. She is both helpless and clueless, is only either sickeningly fake or a complete loose cannon and, as Bekah aptly put it, has “a lot to learn about conflict resolution and interpersonal skills.” She knows not what she does, yet thinks she knows. She thinks she’s in on things and has us all outsmarted. And she remains one of the best villains ever.
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Старый 28.02.2018, 09:03   #1233
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1. Lighter fare

Perhaps because of how much conflict there was throughout this episode, in addition to some of the most shameless advertising I’ve ever witnessed (I might make a point of NOT seeing Blockers based on how severely my intelligence felt challenged by that inane “Blocked moments from The Bachelor” segment), the lighter, funnier moments were SO appreciated. Obviously bloopers are always a highlight (I don’t understand why they don’t triple the length of that blooper reel!), but my absolute favourite moment was during the closing credits when we got to see Arie’s affinity for food, and especially for eating the normally-ignored 1-on-1 date meals.

I know all my readers are in the same boat, but as someone who has long noticed that no one ever seems to touch their dinner date “dinners” (when I finally went on the show, I realized why; you’ve already eaten while getting ready for the evening, plus the food is completely cold), this felt like a wink in our direction. I loved when Arie, on his various dates, said things like, “Don’t be afraid to eat” and “I actually really want to try this thing.” I happen to think some men, whether intentionally or not, can make women feel self-conscious eating in front of them (especially when the man himself doesn’t eat). I loved Arie’s comfort with food, in focusing on it and in sharing that comfort with the women, and the montage of mouth-filled “mmms” was a much needed reprieve from an otherwise conflict-laden and exhausting Women Tell All.
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Старый 28.02.2018, 23:11   #1234
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Arie's blog

As much as I loved being grilled by the women’s families, I was excited to finally be going to Peru.

It was so crazy to be in our final destination of this journey. I couldn’t believe that in just a few short weeks I’d be engaged. Even crazier, though, was that I had no idea who I’d hopefully be getting down on one knee for. You know when you do something new and huge and you think you know exactly how it’s going to be? Well, you’re normally wrong. Expectation rarely meets reality. I never could’ve been prepared for this.
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Старый 28.02.2018, 23:18   #1235
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We got off the plane and started our drive to Ica. I watched out the window as the city slowly turned to sand dunes.
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Старый 28.02.2018, 23:20   #1236
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We pulled into our hotel, and saw wild sheep, llamas and alpacas wandering around and I tried to snap some selfies with them with my Polaroid.

A sheep even followed me into the gym one day.
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Старый 28.02.2018, 23:23   #1237
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It would be a crime to go to Ica and not hit the dunes. Kendall and I, as always, had a blast.

There was never a dull moment when we were together. Ever date someone who always keeps you on your toes? Keeps you laughing and keeps conversations exciting? That was Kendall. Given our conversation at the rose ceremony last week, I knew we really liked each other, but I was still unsure if we could catch up to the other women.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 28.02.2018, 23:27   #1238
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Our chemistry was so strong, but did that mean we could potentially get engaged so soon? That evening, it was amazing to hear Kendall say she was falling in love with me.

I felt like maybe, against the odds, we COULD get there.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 28.02.2018, 23:36   #1239
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I was so excited going into my date with Lauren. I’d never heard of the Nazca Lines before, but they were breathtaking. I have no idea how the biomorphs and geoglyphs got there. Aliens maybe? The day portion of my date with Lauren was great, but also stressful.

I was in love with her and had such strong feelings, but she seemed so worried and distant.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 01.03.2018, 01:09   #1240
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When she told me she was considering leaving due to the stress, I didn’t know what to do.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 01.03.2018, 01:10   #1241
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Thankfully, that night, we were able to talk directly about the problem. Hearing that she was in her head due to the stress of thinking about me dating other women, but, still, was very much in love with me made all the difference in the world.

We were in love, and it felt great that we could both express that.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 01.03.2018, 02:52   #1242
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My final date of the week was with Becca.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 01.03.2018, 04:46   #1243
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Our catamaran trip to Ballesta Island was perfectly romantic.

The island was beautiful and filled with wildlife. There was one big drawback, though. Apparently, an island that thousands of birds use as a toilet doesn’t smell great …
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Старый 01.03.2018, 06:11   #1244
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Being around Becca was always so easy. Though we hit some rough patches earlier, whenever we had time alone things were progressing.

When we told each other that we loved each other, it felt like we had finally totally bridged the distance between us that had formed part-way thru the journey. I had so much hope for a potential future with her.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 01.03.2018, 06:19   #1245
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Then … there came the ex.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 01.03.2018, 06:22   #1246
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As annoying as it was, we have to talk about my visit from Ross. When he came and knocked on my door, I really thought that he was hotel staff. Becca and I had talked about her ex before, but I never thought he’d fly halfway across the world to try and win her back.
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Старый 01.03.2018, 06:27   #1247
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I was angry that he showed up, not for me, but for Becca. She didn’t deserve to have someone from her past continuing to bug her.

I’ve heard of ghosting, but this felt like a haunting. I can see how he’d think he was making a big, romantic gesture, but come on dude. She moved on!
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Старый 01.03.2018, 06:30   #1248
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The rose ceremony that week was incredibly difficult.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 01.03.2018, 06:36   #1249
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As much as it pained me, I knew I had to say goodbye to Kendall. Our time together filled my heart with joy, but our connection just wasn’t as strong as the other two. I’d miss all her facts, the ukele, the taxidermy, the talks of zombie apocalypses, and all the laughs. We had an amazing run. From kissing under the Eiffel Tower to her seeing her first snowfall, it was a relationship I’d never forget.
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Старый 01.03.2018, 06:45   #1250
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So, there I was, at the end of the week, in a situation that I had never imagined.

I realized that I was in love with two women. I never thought this could happen to me. I hadn’t been in love since Emily, and now here I was: IN LOVE. TWO WOMEN. When I watched Ben’s season I was wondering how someone could fall in love with two people at once. Well, now I can empathize with him because it can happen and did happen. I was entering my last chapter as The Bachelor with two amazing, beautiful, intelligent women … and had no idea how I was going to figure out who I’d propose to. Just when you thought things couldn’t get any harder … I was about to enter the most intense chapter yet. Never, and I mean never did I think this journey would take the turn it does. Next week, join me in watching the dramatic, emotional conclusion to my journey as The Bachelor live on stage Monday and Tuesday.
Best, Arie
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