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Arie Luyendyk Jr Холостяк #22

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Старый 02.02.2018, 23:28   #876
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I was talking to my sister about Krystal and had a bit of a revelation: We agreed that we don’t want her to leave. That’s how good a villain she is!
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Старый 02.02.2018, 23:32   #877
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Always, when villains grind my gears, in terms of impairing my viewing pleasure, they can’t be sent packing soon enough. But with Krystal, it’s not so black and white. I go back and forth between sympathizing with her and being grated by her.
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Старый 02.02.2018, 23:36   #878
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I truly believe she is not a malicious person. I feel a bit bad for her in that I think she’s in over her head and she’s kind of spiralling out of control. Based on how she reacts to conflict within the Bachelor bubble, narcissism might be her curse and she appears to have something of a victim complex.
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Старый 02.02.2018, 23:42   #879
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Her own pride is her worst enemy. Bekah M said something that really nailed it on the head: “I wonder if Krystal still lives in her deluded world where she still thinks all of us are wrong.” It ties into all all things I often talk about on these recaps: That where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Or the common denominator factor: If you have conflict with many people yet they all get along with each other fine, you’re the common denominator and maybe it’s time to look in the mirror. It takes humility to be able to admit fault but Krystal seems hell bent on pointing a finger at everyone but herself, almost as a means of survival, as though her being wrong (or not perfect) is not something she could recover from. Most interestingly (again, from the intelligent Bachelor viewer’s perspective), we can almost see her progressively growing closer and closer with her producer as she becomes more and more alienated from the other women. What she said last night after getting her rose—”If the girls thought I was a threat before, then watch out ladies!”—didn’t sound like something she’d have said in Episode 2.
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Старый 02.02.2018, 23:50   #880
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You guys, my Top 4 list is all askew! I don’t think I’ve ever had so much change in my lists as this season. My predictions based on Episode 5 are as follows…

1. Tia, 26:
This was a WOW 1-on-1, enough to catapult Tia from 4th last week to 1st. And enough to make me go back to each episode and pore over her screen time. (Yes, I am a nerd.) I feel a little tricked, like we weren’t given the proper tools to know Tia would be this significant a player. On Night One, she got an intro video and her full limo exit was shown, but we hardly got any conversation between her and Arie (just a few sentences about them both liking to keep things light and funny). There was no ITM of Arie reflecting on Tia or his time with her. In Episode 2, all we saw of any 1-on-1 time between them was Arie telling her, “You’re definitely my type” and her smiling. (Seriously, that’s all.) It wasn’t until Episode 3, with the barrels of hay and moonshine at the Rose Ceremony cocktail party, where we saw some concrete time and Arie talk about liking her a lot. At any rate, none of that matters now, since based on that incredible 1-on-1 date I feel strongly that Tia will either win or make at least final 2. The way these two look at each other, and the easy banter and flow, and the fact that Tia is a badass career woman (for which Arie has expressed appreciation). The mic drop quote that solidifies her in the top spot? Arie saying: “I feel more myself when I’m around her than any of the other women.”
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Старый 03.02.2018, 00:25   #881
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2. Bekah M, 22:
Bekah M hasn’t budged from my 2nd spot for awhile. She holds firm, but I’m the first to admit she’s not getting bumped higher because of her age. And it’s not that I don’t think she’s a mature and ready 22-year-old, but rather that I don’t know if Arie is going to go with his, to use his own word, “riskiest” option. But man, what a natural rapport these two have. And their chemistry! She’s also making it far. If (and possibly when) this breakup happens, it’s going to be brutal but captivating television.
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Старый 03.02.2018, 00:56   #882
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3. Becca K, 27:
Just when I was beginning to think all was lost for Becca K and Arie, he carved out some real QT for her, even taking her to his room! My beef is that most of what we were shown of that QT was just them kissing, without nearly enough substantial conversation. (Compare this to Bekah M, where conversation is ALWAYS, almost disproportionately shown versus everyone else.) But we also got a little interaction on the bowling portion of their date, so overall I still think Becca K is a frontrunner. But if she does win, she has a right to be pissed about the general lack of airtime their love story is getting.
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Старый 03.02.2018, 01:03   #883
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4. Kendall, 26:
This was a tricky decision. I was tempted to include Chelsea because I don’t think Arie would keep a mother on his season longer if he felt lukewarm about her, but we haven’t seen nearly enough time between them overall (I believe the last 1-on-1 time we ever saw was Episode 2?). I had to bump Seinne because, despite her great 1-on-1 last week, she got pretty much zero airtime with Arie this week (note how Bekah M’s time was shown while she too had a 1-on-1 last week). Lauren B seems like a potential force to be reckoned with but while her Group Date 1-on-1 time was shown, BOTH Kendall’s Group Date 1-on-1 and Rose Ceremony 1-on-1 times were shown. Looking back, Kendall, like Tia, had an intro video and her full limo exit shown. Her 1-on-1 time only included her song on her ukulele (which was really good!) so, again like with Tia, I was thrown off. But the more I see her the more seriously I take Kendall and Arie as a couple. I eagerly await their 1-on-1 date!
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Старый 04.02.2018, 06:22   #884
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Episode 5

Thanks for your patience, dear readers!
I keep meaning to get these out sooner but I'm in the thick of rehearsals right now (if you're in Victoria, come see La Bohème later this month!). Plus, there was SO MUCH to talk about in this episode. I'm particularly interested in your comments this week!

“If Arie gives me a rose tonight, it would show me that he is willing to get down and dirty and be stronger for struggle. And if he doesn’t give me a rose, I feel like Arie’s taken the easy way out with me.”
—Krystal, whose perspective on relationships is depressing

The show is on the road and now Fort Lauderdale is being touted as "the perfect place to fall in love". Arie greets the women and immediately asks Chelsea on the first 1-on-1, but note her outfit switch...

Having been in this exact position (where the lead comes to your hotel suite and asks you directly to go on the date—except in my case it was Episode 7 and there were 6 of us left), I know producers tell you you have X amount of time to get ready and then you go do an ITM to talk about your excitement. Nothing huge here, but just funny how they skimmed over the middle bits but kept the surrounding women in the same formation (presumably for continuity), yet her outfit is completely different.
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Старый 04.02.2018, 06:31   #885
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CHELSEA'S 1-ON-1

Maquel returns and immediately gives us a little 4th wall breakage...

A lot of people assume being on The Bachelor is very cushy, and in many ways it is (in terms of fancy hotels, dates, and all the food/drink you could want—it's certainly no Survivor contestant experience), but one thing that's never discussed is how sleep deprived everyone is. Your ITMs (or waiting to do ITMs) can easily run into the wee hours of the morning, yet you're always woken up early for the next day's activities. (Не знаю специально это делается или нет, но известно, что когда человек хронически недосыпает у него слегка начинает ехать крыша, особенно у людей с нестойкими крышами )
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Старый 04.02.2018, 06:36   #886
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I addressed this in my The Morning After video, but I give serious props to Chelsea for derailing her early villain narrative and taking control. You can see that she's popular among the women and she's (smartly) laid low ever since they confronted her in Episode 2 about prioritizing her time above the others' because she's got a child. (I'm not saying that's what she was doing but that was the argument.) She's been nothing but a class act since and I'm all about giving credit where credit is due, so kudos to her.

Two things about this date: First, I loved how uncomfortable she is to talk about her past relationship...

There's nothing performer-y or sob story-ish about how she goes about this. It's clear that it's a painful topic, she shares it because it's relevant, but she's not looking for sympathy. Her story is simply about what she's learned and what she values now.
The other notable thing is that I loved that money was discussed. Obviously I appreciate her values (she said she'd have been just as happy in a park as on that extravagant yacht with Arie) but love that the concept of money and the lessons surrounding it were even brought up. This show doesn't touch on topics like this enough.
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Старый 04.02.2018, 06:38   #887
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GROUP DATE

Man oh man... WHAT AN EPISODE. Obviously much of the rest of this recap will revolve around Krystal so if you're all Krystal'ed out I suggest you just skip to the Fashion section now.
The most major thing that stuck out to me during the day portion was how we caught a glimpse of Krystal's other side (in addition to a frosty Direct-Look-Into-Camera™)...

There seem to be major highs and lows to Krystal. As in, something like basic kindness is SO "on" and SO over the top with her. It reminds me of later on in this episode, in an ITM, when she said she showed Arie "so many shades" of her (the list included "fun, passionate, sad, emotional, futuristic"—ahem). It's like every "shade" is something to be tracked and amplified, making negative emotions and reactions just as extreme.
Back to the above .GIF: Not sure if I've mentioned this before, but as a contestant, you're not allowed to attach or remove your mic packs yourself. (Something about how expensive and delicate they are.) On day one they make this very clear and it's really a non-issue; there are always crew members around to help you with your mic. (It's not like you're ever left waiting long for someone to remove or attach it for you.) So, in terms of those extreme swings, for as too sweet and emotive as Krystal often is, the above moment feels too rude. The tone, to me, feels downright derogatory, like she's woefully addressing "the help". Even in an angry state, a simple, "Hey, could someone take off my mic pack? I'd like to change." would suffice, particularly since the sound guys are hardly responsible for what angered her. (You could argue that she's mad at production as a whole and thus targeting anyone involved, including audio guys, but I don't think that's what this is. There's no shot of her taking things out on a producer—which we'd definitely have seen—and even in her off-camera conversation with a producer, her anger is entirely focused on Arie.) Look, we all have moody and sometimes bitchy sides to us (I know I do), but I (and most people I know) would NEVER speak to a hardworking crew member (or anyone for that matter) in this way.
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Старый 04.02.2018, 06:45   #888
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A happy side effect to Krystal's angry episode are the reactions we get from the other women. Exhibit A is Seinne's hilarious "WTF" face...
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Старый 04.02.2018, 06:53   #889
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... as well as Chelsea's "Oh for f---'s sake" face...

The above is indeed frustrating. Krystal just CAN'T ADMIT that she was trying to send a message, that she was obviously punishing Arie by refusing to show up and, by packing up her stuff, was threatening to leave. But it really was a bluff, since if she really were done with him, she'd have just left. It's such a rigamarole that feels very high school—think basic relationship manipulation 101—the kind of game you test out on your first boyfriend and quickly realize doesn't work.
(Да, мы знаем, что Кристал отменный манипулятор! )
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Старый 04.02.2018, 07:49   #890
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Anyway, Arie (knowingly) plays Krystal's game for a bit and goes up to chat with her. I loved this conversation so much that I transcribed a chunk of it (it was way too much for a .GIF). Every single sentence of Arie's is a direct response to what was just said, and a concrete, constructive one at that. He is eloquent and concise and doesn't beat around the bush but is never nasty. Meanwhile, note how much of what Krystal says sounds like stock, unrelated arguments, like she's grasping at straws to maintain victim status and dodge being in the wrong. It's like with each sentence, Arie takes a step towards resolution, and achieving that resolution would require Krystal admitting to at least an iota of fault. But Krystal sidesteps the blame every time and points it elsewhere. It's very two steps forward, one step back...

Arie: The simple matter of this whole thing is that you're up here, they're down there, and whatever was said up here could've been said to me directly.
Krystal: I felt... passionate... and I felt very hurt and I said things out of hurt. Um... I wanted to share with you, like, I feel like I've been so, like, open and deep and raw and, like, vulnerable with you, and I feel like I don't know anything about you. And I want you to, like, let me in.
Arie: You know more than anyone here!
Krystal: I know, but like, I need more. Like, that's important for me.
Arie: I know that you need to know more about me. If you were downstairs then we would have, you know, some time to talk about it, but this is exactly what couples can't do, is run away from their problems. This is what I'm trying to get at, is that small things in this environment can turn into really big things outside of it. And when this stuff happens it really causes a lot of—
Krystal: Yeah. Disruption. (she begins to concede here)
Arie: ... disruption in our relationship, and also makes me pull back.
Krystal: I—I totally pulled back today. Um, like... it felt like a lie! (never mind)
Arie: But you're the only one up here—
Krystal: Yeah, okay!
Arie: Are you teaching me a lesson?
Krystal: No, I was just... I was pissed!
Arie: Yeah. I know you're pissed, but here's the thing: I think you should stay up here tonight, I'm going to go down and hang with them, know that I'm not happy about it, and I'll see you in a few days.

At the risk of sounding like a complete weirdo, this solidified a mini TV crush on Arie I've been flirting with having for a few weeks. I'm into a man who—especially in conflict—behaves like an adult, not a child, who works toward a resolution (instead of wallowing in the conflict, almost relishing it). I've had lovely, mature boyfriends that became petulant, argumentative, fault-diverting boys during fights and am SO glad I never have to go there again.

I've told Andy (MY DARLING HUSBAND WHOM I LOVE VERY MUCH) about my TV crush on Arie and his response: "Oh, I can so see that. He's a bit like me!"
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Старый 04.02.2018, 07:53   #891
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И это то, что мне нравится в Ари! Этот разговор был очень показателен, Ари просто молодец! Я боялась, что он станет показывать себя с такой стороны, что я в нем разочаруюсь, я очень, очень боялась этого, когда сказали, что Ари будет Холостяком. С одной стороны мне хотелось с ним получше познакомиться, но с другой стороны, я очень боялась разочароваться. Но у меня появляется все больше уважения к Ари, мне он все больше нравится как личность. Удачи, Ари! Так держать!!! Пока что это мой самый любимый сезон!
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Старый 04.02.2018, 08:25   #892
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This was easy to miss but I laughed out loud when Bekah M joked...
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Старый 04.02.2018, 08:30   #893
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Despite the consensus in her conversation with Arie being that Krystal should stay in the hotel suite (that was her choice), she inexplicably decides (perhaps with a little producer rah-rah-ing) to join the party after all. Editing (and suspenseful music) made it seem like she walked in right as Bekah M was making fun of her, but note where Bekah M is sitting during her "prayer" and where she's sitting when Krystal actually walks in...
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Старый 04.02.2018, 08:42   #894
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A few of you have commented that you thought Bekah M was unnecessarily mean in this episode. I don't entirely disagree in that I think it's a bit cruel to say, "may she have the friends and support that she so ridiculously believes she had in us before today". But, I imagine a) watching it back, and having cooled off all this time later, she probably regrets it, as evidenced by this tweet...
bekah martinez ♡@whats_ur_sign_
on a serious note, bullying and making fun of people ain’t cool. not suuuuper proud of the unnecessary mockery.
10:03 PM - Jan 29, 2018
... and b) living with Krystal was likely nothing short of mind-numbingly MADDENING (I mean, I'm maddened even watching a sliver of her behavior through my television screen). I'm not excusing Bekah M's mockery as it did cross the line, but her ability to admit fault goes a long way for me. And I know two wrongs don't make a right, but I personally didn't find it or her impersonation of Krystal any worse than, say, Wells' "scallop fingers"-themed impersonation of Christen in Bachelor In Paradise 3, yet she seems to be getting more flak than he ever did.
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Старый 04.02.2018, 09:14   #895
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Krystal's return stirred up another LOL-inducing reaction from Seinne...
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Старый 04.02.2018, 09:24   #896
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Okay, enough about Krystal for a moment. I dug the time shown between Lauren B and Arie and wanted to capture a bit of it. Their conversation really feels easy to me (I love that it's rarely about their "connection" and that they seem to make an effort to make it as natural in that getting-to-know-you way as possible)...

First, as I've been pointing out over the last few weeks, I see this as another light-hearted, subtle example of how self-deprecating and not ego-fueled Arie seems.
As for Lauren B, I get a sense that maybe she's the one sizing Arie up, leveling out the playing field, and like she's appropriately cautious, all of which I like. I also appreciate her general way of being. She's very NOT performer-y and just seems low-key and very herself, possibly even a little closed off due to the cameras. I for one WAY prefer this (and can relate), versus someone who's remotely too into the cameras, so yeah, I like Lauren B a lot.
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Старый 04.02.2018, 09:35   #897
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TIA'S 1-ON-1

This was a knockout of a 1-on-1 date. It provided the perfect amount of heart to offset all the drama stewing throughout the episode. I mentioned this in my Flare recap, but I feel like there was no way for us to really know how big a player Tia would be based on her Night One showing. That said, watching the way these two look at and banter with each other, I still feel a bit ashamed for not seeing it coming sooner.
Anyway, we know Tia is from a small town but the show seems to want to remind us of that for some reason. Note her hair at the beginning of this sentence versus at the end...

In case you're not convinced, give the same sentence a listen...
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 04.02.2018, 10:38   #898
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Finally, in perhaps one of my favorite conversations (well, conversation excerpts) ever shown on this show, Tia and Arie touch on a HUGE topic: Religion. Now, this is a big deal because it's the first time (I think?) we've ever seen religion discussed where there were different perspectives. We've seen it brought up as something both parties share and are in agreement on (for example, on Night One of Kaitlyn's Bachelorette season, Britt and Brady quickly found they this in common). In fact, religious beliefs are addressed quite commonly as a given, like of course it'd be a huge part of one's life. (A few leads who come to mind here are Ben H and Rachel.) However, as a non-religious person, I've felt pretty underrepresented on this show for YEARS.

I'm not sure I ever mentioned this (I've written so much in these recaps it's hard to keep track!), but one of my first questions I asked the casting director about Juan Pablo upon finding out he was el Bachelor (at this point casting was complete and they'd officially invited me on the show but I was still a bit on the fence, especially since up until then I didn't know who the guy was), was whether or not he was religious. In fact, on our first 1-on-1 (in the tea room in Seoul), I brought this up to make sure we were at least somewhat on the same page. (This was on camera but never aired.) I'd seen enough of this show to know what the popular opinion on religion typically was and knew it could be an issue down the road. I'm open-minded but I always knew I couldn't be with someone whose beliefs were the polar opposite of mine, or especially someone who wasn't cool with my having different beliefs.

Back to Arie: Not only someone on this show, but the Bachelor himself, openly admits that he "doesn't believe a higher power is leading him" and that feels "he makes a lot of his own destiny". As someone who feels this way but who hasn't ever seen it expressed on a TV show I've been watching for well over a decade, this is a big deal. Also, seeing as how much of this show's audience demographic may not agree with him, it's a risk, and one that I admire and respect.

Tia, too, deserves credit for her fantastic response...

Tia: I'm not going to judge people or not accept people for having a different belief.
Arie: Could you be married to somebody who doesn't have that faith?
Tia: Yeah, like, if I understand your perspective of it. Because, honestly, I tend to go for people that are different from me, to kind of learn from them.
So, yeah. This episode had it all!
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 04.02.2018, 20:27   #899
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ROSE CEREMONY

Alright, back to Krystalville. What Kendall said last week comes to mind, that it feels sometimes like Krystal is saying what she thinks she should say or what she read in a book somewhere, rather than just simply expressing her feelings. A fantastic example...

There seem to be a lot of keywords that are getting repeated: investing in herself and her relationship, growth or growing, struggles and challenges, etc. As I said on The Morning After, I'm reminded of that slightly hokey yoga teacher who speaks in catchphrases, like they're quoting self-help books or inspirational memes, and whose class you never take again.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 04.02.2018, 20:38   #900
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Two things stood out to me in this Rose Ceremony cocktail party. The first was that, out of all the women, I felt Kendall dealt with Krystal the best. When Krystal told the women that she was only interested in private conversations because she felt she kept getting ganged up on (cough, victim complex, cough), Kendall was quick to take her up on that. I felt she was the one who really seemed to try to understand Krystal and made an effort to express her point of view in a way that didn't automatically make Krystal defensive (which we've learned by now isn't easy). Props to Kendall.
The other thing is how Arie wasn't swayed by Krystal's decidedly different approach in this cocktail party versus the last...

Krystal's punishment strategy definitely backfired and instead of making Arie grovel (which I do think was her goal), she became the one trying to patch things up—of course, somehow without admitting fault. This is the problem: the only time conflict can ultimately strengthen a relationship is if both parties can reflect on and learn from said conflict. For someone who seems to generally believe "struggles" equal a "stronger" relationship (never mind how fruitless and exhausting that relationship already sounds), based on the behavior of hers we've seen, I have a hard time believing Krystal has actually experienced much what she preaches. If you can't accept blame, how can you take in and apply the constructive criticism necessary to prevent the exact same conflict from happening over and over again?
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