Холостячкa #13

barish

I realized some of the guys had done their homework when Alex danced into my life with a vacuum cleaner like I had in my introduction on Nick’s season. Blake E. totally made up for the awkward moment we shared at After the Final Rose by marching back into my life with an entire band.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Thank God I peed before “Ticklemonster” Jonathan’s limo exit because I’m seriously ticklish.

I was already recalling the sage advice of my dear friend Alexis, “don’t judge anyone who shows up in a costume” when Matt waddled out of his limo in a penguin costume.
By the time the last man had entered the mansion, it was clear I had a diverse group of guys which was perfect because I seriously don’t have a type. At that moment I realized one of these guys could be my future husband. Now I had to go inside and find him.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I was more nervous for the cocktail party than the limos because now I had to actually talk to 30 men! Luckily they did most the talking because that first night is more about getting to know them, not just them getting to know me. My greatest fear that night was having to start the rose ceremony and having to make decisions I would regret, so I really wanted to talk to each and every guy.
Josiah’s story about his troubled childhood leading him to becoming a prosecutor and community organizer made me second guess my “no dating lawyers” mantra.
The most shocking moment came when I sat with Frederick, whom I have known since we were in grade school. Although I had a handsome grown man sitting in front of me all I could see is the trouble-making 5-year-old I had put in time-out countless times as a camp counselor. I knew I wanted to give him, and to be honest mostly myself the opportunity to see him as a grown man — but knew it was something that I’d have to work on.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Then there was Bryan.

Can we talk about Bryan for a second? I don’t really hablo Espanõl, but his love language certainly spoke to me because before I had time to translate what he was saying he was kissing me … and I liked it. That actually was the hottest first kiss of my life.
Talking to Kenny about his daughter already had me picturing what life would look like outside of this experience. It was so cute to see a big tough pro wrestler turn into a teddy bear when speaking about his family. The “cocktail” portion of the cocktail party definitely became a focus with some guys like Mo who seemed to drown their nerves in booze and forgot to talk to me.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

The end of the night was a whirlwind as the remaining men made valiant efforts to get time with me. Suddenly Chris Harrison dropped the First Impression Rose and I realized it was already decision time. There were a dozen guys I could have given it to for a dozen different reasons, but the truth was I was looking for romance and one guy had made my heart race that night … Bryan.

I didn’t expect to kiss anyone this soon, but expectations are made to be broken on journeys like this.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Ugh, the rose ceremony was tough.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I struggle with hurting people’s feelings, and I can’t really explain how difficult it was to say goodbye to men who had come so far and shown me so much respect and consideration that evening.

As unhappy as I was to see them leave that night, I knew I had to trust my gut and follow my heart. I wish I had a hundred nights to get to know all these men before I had to make my choices but time is precious here. You have to carefully choose who to share it with. At the end of the evening, I had empathy but not regret.
It was a relief to make it through the first evening, and I was more eager than ever to get started dating! I was certainly right to be excited because I have some of the most amazing dates you’ve ever seen coming up.
Next week I get swept off my feet! Unfortunately, I also have the rug completely pulled out from under me. How? You’ll have to tune in to find out!
I’ll just say that one man convinces me this all could work while another makes my worst fears come true. You’ll see me cry, curse someone out and have one of the Most! Dramatic! Cocktail Parties! Ever! … and this is just next week!
With all of that said, I think the craziest thing to admit is that, as I sit here today watching this journey now unfold … I do so, AN ENGAGED WOMAN. You won’t want to miss a thing.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for following me on this journey. I’m truly humbled to have so much support. Here we go!
Truly yours,
Rachel

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Hey Bachelor Nation, thanks for dropping back in to get the inside scoop. The first week seriously lit the fuse as far as both romance and the drama goes! I also want to take a second to thank you all for the outpouring of support I’ve gotten on social media and in person since this has all started. It feels like the whole world is my home team I’m thrilled and privileged to have you all pulling for me!

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I woke up the morning after the meeting the guys to my dog Copper nuzzling my face with his wet little nose. While I was in Los Angeles preparing for this journey, Copper was involved in an accident that left one bone in his little paw broken. I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus on finding love if I left the most important piece of my heart back in Dallas. So right before the guys showed up I flew back, had his furry leg wrapped in a cast, and booked us both first class seats back to California.

Truth is I needed him to comfort me as much as he needed me.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I thought I would be dead tired after having invested so much energy into giving each of my 31 suitors my undivided attention the night before, yet knowing I was about to kick off the very first date of the season had me up at the crack of dawn picking my outfits and getting dolled-up to go see my men.
I rolled up to the mansion and found the guys just getting settled after moving in. As good as these men looked in their suits, it was even better seeing them dressed down in their normal threads. When you’re dating this many guys you study every little detail you can get on them, including their style.
I’m very vocal at how much I struggled with the group dates on Nick’s season. It took me longer than it should have to open up to him and this time around I was focused on making personal connections no matter how many people were on the date. We started the day by lighting the BBQ and playing football, something I would do on any given weekend back home.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Little did they know the real games were just beginning, any guy can cook a hot dog, so it was time to put these guys through the husband obstacle course I designed with my favorite celebrity couple.

I don’t know if I will ever fully grasp how huge Bachelor Nation is, but having Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis drop by to help officiate the date was a eureka moment that helped me realize even some of the biggest celebrities are actually huge fans of not just Bachelor Nation … but of me! Actually not even just fans, but super fans who unwind on Monday nights with a glass of wine and an episode just like us.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Ashton and Mila wasted no time sharing their first impressions of the guys with me. I had brought a diverse group of guys on this date, real dads like Kenny, young bachelors like Dean, and everything in between. I wasn’t just looking to see who could set the table for dinner, I wanted to see who could focus on me and not just fanboy over Ashton and Mila.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I could tell Ashton wasn’t feeling Lucas’ comedy bits, but he was a fair referee and in the end declared Lucas champion. I can’t tell you how shocked the rest of the guys looked.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

The after party at the art warehouse turned out to be great chance to get to know the guys on a deeper level because they came in ready to share.
Lucas actually got serious for a split second and surprised me.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

In the end Dean used his time that evening to make the strongest and most natural romantic connection. I felt a spark between us I wanted to grow and so I gave him the rose. It was like giving Popeye a can of spinach because suddenly he had the confidence to walk me outside and kiss me.

It was a tough call who to give it to, but that made me feel like I made the right one.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

The next day I got to take Peter on my very first one-on-one date! Peter struck me as a man who is incredibly down to earth … especially for being so handsome. The way his hands were shaking when he first met me the first night was so endearing. Our conversations and romantic moments flowed with an ease that was completely different than any other relationship I’ve had before. I couldn’t help but tease him about this date actually being a two-on-one and I knew if we were going to work I had to introduce him to the other man in life. He seemed a little confused and nervous until my dog Copper jumped out of his chauffeured car and ran up the tarmac into the private jet.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Peter seemed to win over Copper just as fast as he won me over.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Among all the doggy fun Peter did something off camera that made me cry tears of happiness.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Without telling me or anyone else he snuck away from the date to give a homeless man his sandwich. Take the rose Peter, it’s all yours. The fireworks were going off in my heart long before the real ones shot off into the desert night sky.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

The basketball group date the next day wasn’t just a game for me — sports are my life! It felt so nice to kick off the heels and lace up some Space Jam Jordans and show my men another side of Rachel. Having Kareem Adbul Jabbar swing by the gym to help me put these guys through the paces had me fangirling so hard, keep it together Rachel, he’s too old for you!
When game time rolled around I was so impressed by all the guys I found myself in the cheerleader section shouting at the top of my lungs.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

From DeMario dunking on everyone to guys like Lee who were weren’t ballers but had heart and that precious ability to have fun even when challenged, the day couldn’t have been going any better.
Then the entire date fell apart.
After the game a young woman pull me aside before we could head to the after party and reminded me that this journey wasn’t all fun and games, it was also an emotional minefield.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

All I asked was everyone keep it 100 with me. I can forgive past mistakes and understand how someone could come to this experience having recently ended a relationship, but what I can’t put up with is some idiot trying to play me.
This woman explained coherently how DeMario had never ended their relationship and just ghosted her when he moved into the mansion. I grabbed DeMario to hear his side of the story and his first reaction was pretending he didn’t even recognize this woman he had been in relationship with for months!

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

It took 10*minutes of listening to DeMario talk in contradictions and circles, change his story, mix up his dates and make every other stupid move players go to when caught, before I stopped letting him dig his grave any deeper...

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)