Американский Холостяк #21 Nick Viall

barish

When I finally came out to the floor myself and got a chance to face the women, I have to admit I was incredibly nervous!

I mean who wouldn’t be, right?

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

With that many exes in one place it’s impossible to forecast the tone of the room you’re about to enter. Throughout the journey, I tried my best to show empathy and respect to all the women while I made decisions along the way. I just know that I always tried to follow my heart and I can truly say I am confident in all my decisions. With that said, it was still so great to see the women. Everyone looked stunning, and I was really appreciative for the warm greetings from everyone.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Women Tell All was certainly entertaining — from cheese pasta (which I still have yet to try, by the way) to seeing how loved Kristina is and catching up with everyone else, it was a really fun evening to be a part of.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

As we all wish Rachel luck on her journey, I hope you’re excited to see how my own comes to an end next week. I promise there are a few surprises and it might not end the way you expect. So get ready for the most dramatic finale in television history! (Sorry, had to have my own attempt at Chris Harrison’s line.) Hopefully fourth time’s a charm!

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Sharleen Joynt on The Bachelor: Episode 10

I just finished taping HuffPost’s “Here To Make Friends” podcast and Claire, Emma and myself agreed: Now that we write about this stuff and take notes, the words “Three-Hour Bachelor Event” are truly shiver-inducing. I need your guys’ help here to give me perspective and help me remember back to before I became a contestant-turned-recapper: Were those four words ever a good thing? Do you hear “Three-Hour Bachelor Event” and feel anticipation or even excitement?

Or is it more a finish-what-you-started mindset that compels you to tune in? Perhaps a masochistic curiosity?

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

In all fairness, I should not lump this week’s hour-long episode with Women Tell All. The first hour was actually really, really good and we saw two solid, entertaining, romantic and funny dates.

Despite the fact that I (and America… and the camera) love Rachel, I was happy to see her go this week. I’m pumped she’s Bachelorette but the early announcement really did in their relationship for me. I’ve never been one of those people who seeks out and reads the endings of novels and now I know why.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Rachel’s Fantasy Suite date chemistry was undeniably (to use Nick’s own wording) “explosive” but instead of growing invested in their relationship or analyzing and comparing their connection with the others, the ending-knowing transformed their formerly electric relationship into something almost tedious to watch. And you know what? I think production knew that, because they included a lot of funny moments in this date. In my notes I wrote: “I think Nick is funnier with Rachel than Raven,” for whatever that’s worth.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Rachel getting sent home was a mixture of bittersweetness (sweet only because, since her*Bachelorette*announcement, her departure has felt like a countdown of sorts) and fascinating TV. I know that sounds cruel, but in terms of observing human behavior, Rachel’s heartbreak was one of the most compelling I think I’ve ever seen. There wasn’t an iota of fakeness or affect to her emotions, and watching her process the information and subsequent feelings, while it tugged on the heartstrings, it didn’t tug*too*hard since you know the suffering wasn’t for naught. It was as comfortable a heartbreak-observing as I’ve ever experienced.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I LOVED the polar-bear-plunge-then-sauna activity on Vanessa’s date and thought it was everything a Bachelor date should entail: the TV-appropriate kitsch of matching swimsuits, an activity that really pushes the comfort zones but is relevant to the current locale and culture, and above all, something that we at home would find entertaining.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

The conversation, too, was at the level I think it should be at this point in the season, considering an engagement is ostensibly around the corner. One could argue that Vanessa’s ILY on her second 1-on-1 was on the early side, but with this show’s tight timeline and the fact that I really do think Vanessa’s going to “win,” I appreciate that they spent this day focused on red flags and logistics. It made me take what they have more seriously, regarding them both as realists better equipped to face their impending hurdles than most.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

It made me take what they have more seriously, regarding them both as realists better equipped to face their impending hurdles than most. I personally didn’t see them having similar personalities as a concern, but then again I’ve always been a believer that opposites only attract for the short term. I think they SHOULD be similar, not only in opinionated-ness but also in their “core values,” as Vanessa put it. Compatibility is made up of similarities, and compatibility is a very, very good thing.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

My prediction for next week’s big finale…

Going home : Raven, 25

In some alternate universe I can see Nick and Raven working out, just as in some alternate universe I could see Ben H and JoJo working out. The fact that I see Nick cutting Raven truly has nothing to do with her or them and has everything to do with Vanessa. Raven’s relationship with Nick just feels behind Vanessa’s on every level; the way they look at each other, the point they’re at and the confidence in it, and the fact that, in contrast to Vanessa, we haven’t seen Raven and Nick talk the ins and outs of their future at all. Above all, there’s simply and undeniably something stronger, and to use Nick’s word, more “intangibly” there with Vanessa than with Raven.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Winning:” Vanessa, 29

What is there to say that I haven’t already? I’ve never seen Nick look at a lady the way he looks at Vanessa—both on television and in real life—and if she isn’t the last lady standing I will be completely floored. And I like it that way. I like that there really isn’t much competition. The less doubt there is, the more legitimacy there is to the two of them being something real and thushaving the strength to last in real life.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Sharleen Joynt on The Bachelor: Women Tell All

This Women Tell All had me torn between enjoying the redemptive storylines and present-day lessons learned, versus taking deep breaths to calm my racing heart as all-too-real drama played out. Without further ado, in keeping with my Tell All tradition, my top three most memorable moments…
1. Redemption is sweet
Liz’s time in the hot seat ended up getting a bit lost in all the ample airtime dedicated to Corinne (shocking), but it made a great impression on me.

Not because it turned into a motivational speech of sorts (though not a bad one), but rather that I felt her time was a fantastic example of Women Tell All being handed over like a gift from the show’s producers to a contestant they’d wronged.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I mean, let’s be clear: There are usually three, maybe four hot-seat contestants, and they’re usually reserved for far more prominent contestants than Liz was on this season. I saw the producers giving her that airtime as something of an apology, perhaps a “We’re sorry we exploited your one-night stand with Nick and put words in your mouth and in general made you look pretty terrible” card from Hallmark’s “Apology” aisle. Liz truly used her time purposefully and effectively. Never once did she play victim, even when she—out of all the women with questionable edits—was probably most entitled to do so. She owned her actions, justified them without any defensiveness (a feat unto itself), and turned her experience on the show into a message of positivity, about what she’d overcome and learned.

She was evidently very well-liked by the other women—always a good sign—and on the whole came off, for the first time since we’ve known her, as being in control. There’s usually a contestant who wields the Tell All like a tool for redemption, and this go-around that award goes to Liz.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

2. She said, she said: Corinne vs. Taylor

After being so frustrated watching the WTA audience members—one even sporting a terrifying “Make America Corinne Again” hat—cheer for just about every word out of Corinne’s mouth, it was cathartic to talk about this with Emma and Claire this morning on “Here To Make Friends.” None of us denied Corinne’s entertainment value, nor her artful comedic timing, and we all agreed that we’d been coming around to Corinne the last few episodes. But there were two things that made this (horribly dragged out) segment painful and anxiety-inducing to watch.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

First, the producers had clearly chosen a side and it wasn’t Taylor‘s.

In Taylor’s hot-seat time, the traditional recap of her time on the show featured every questionable thing Taylor ever said, from the one time she said “she’s a manipulative bitch,” to having “emotional intelligence” on repeat, to prominently featuring the two mentions (in the four-to-six weeks of filming) of her master’s degree.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

There wasn’t a single nasty quote of Corinne’s, despite there being many more examples of those.

When Taylor finally gave Corinne a sincere apology, Corinne answered with nothing more than a smug and self-satisfied “Thank you.” That was when Chris Harrison should have pushed Corinne to offer an apology of her own, or at least sought closure of sorts.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

But instead he chose that moment to move on to Raquel—glossing over Corinne’s incredible inability to self-reflect. All of the above, combined with the cheesy pasta distribution, showed just how intent the producers were on rewarding Corinne for her job well done all season.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Their (both Corinne’s and the producers’) lack of empathy for the impact this has had on Taylor’s profession is really disgraceful; Emma and Claire, who recently interviewed Taylor, informed me that she has had to close her counseling practice.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Look, I get that Taylor wasn’t popular either. That was made abundantly clear last night. But Taylor was evidently not aware of the extent to which she wasn’t liked and was quick to apologize. She realized that she was the common denominator there, that where there’s smoke there’s fire, and that she must have done something wrong. She didn’t “own” being condescending, impolite or unlikable, chalking it up to some bullshit “you do you, I’ll do me” adage, but instead clearly felt remorse and immediately sought to make things right. These are traits we should want in our fellow human beings.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Corinne, on the other hand, while a fantastic television character, does not—or at least last night, did not—behave admirably.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Nearly everything out of her mouth was a contradiction. First, she dismissed Taylor’s assessment that criticizing each other within the parameters of the show is different than criticizing each other as human beings. Yet, she admitted that the situation made her feel the need to rise above 30 other girls, an obvious indicator that those parameters did indeed bring out a different side of her. She interrupted others freely, yet when she herself was in the hot seat, she dismissed those who interrupted her with, “Why is someone talking?” She defended her questionable behaviour by saying it was all about Nick, standing out to Nick, getting Nick’s attention. Yet, especially for someone who made Final Four, there was nary a mention of Nick or their relationship in her entire (DOUBLE length) hot-seat time. She opened fire on Taylor for judging her and treating her “like a piece of trash” without first getting to know her, yet her claim that Taylor said she didn’t want to be Corinne’s friend because she wasn’t intelligent enough was such a blatant lie—or, as we said on “Here To Make Friends,” such an alternative fact—that it instantly dilutes the credibility of every claim she makes. Corinne’s two modes are going on the offensive and playing victim with no in-between. She takes no fault, never apologizes and doubles down on everyone and everything else. When Taylor opened the door to compromise with her own apology, Corinne really blew it in my eyes. Corinne thinks she won, but she came off as painfully juvenile. Unfortunately, at 24, if she doesn’t realize it by now she probably never will.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

3. Class isn’t dead
The rays of hope on the tail end of so much stubborn conflict were Kristina and Rachel.

Kristina was elegant, modest and sincere, and I appreciated that her hot-seat time was actually about her relationship with Nick, the reason we all got to know her in the first place. (Compare that with how Corinne lasted longer yet how she hardly addressed Nick.) Above all, Kristina seems to have a palpable appreciation for what she has that is nothing short of inspiring. In my eyes, especially coming from an immigrant who really was given a second chance at a life “in colour,” that message could not be better timed. There was a mic-drop moment when Liz contrasted that message with pointing out how privileged they all are, yet how some (not all) of them were up there arguing with each other over such petty things. That was a meaningful and memorable moment, and easily my favourite of last night’s entire three-hour extravaganza.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Rachel, too, was a vision of grace and class. She and Nick still had good chemistry—they even appeared to share an inside joke or two up there—yet it seemed to have morphed into something platonic but every bit as worthwhile. Rachel has such a quiet but strong sense of self worth that, if I had a daughter, I might actually her allow*to watch this show to witness. Rachel knows what she has going for her, yet without a hint of arrogance or entitlement. At 31, you get the real sense she’s going into this with very clear*needs and wants, and I for one am SO excited to watch her on her own season.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)