Американский Холостяк #20 Ben Higgins

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

But Covalin has another surprise in store: He asks Ben and Lauren H. to walk the runway with his top models.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

The women waste no time at the cocktail party confronting Ben about Olivia’s annoying behavior, and he has no choice but to have a face-off with her.

Will she be able to convince Ben that she is here for the “right reasons”?

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

The 11 remaining women are:

Amanda, 25, esthetician, Rancho Santa Margarita, CA

Becca, 26, chiropractic assistant, San Diego, CA

Caila, 24, software sales representative, Hudson, OH

Emily, 23, twin, Las Vegas, NV

Jennifer, 25, small business owner, Fort Lauderdale, FL

Joelle “Jo Jo,” 24, real estate developer, Dallas, TX

Jubilee, 24, war veteran, Fort Lauderdale, FL

Lauren B., 25, flight attendant, Marina Del Rey, CA

Lauren H., 25, kindergarten teacher, Ann Arbor, MI

Leah, 25, event planner, Denver, CO

Olivia, 23, news anchor, Austin, TX

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Jillian Harris' Blog on Ep 4 and about Becca:
Oh my gawwwwd I forgot how much I loved her from Chris Soules season.
I love the way that she looks at Ben and I think that he’s a much better fit for her than Chris was. Ben has had more of a mellow past and he’s able to really connect with her more naturally and make her feel special.
Sparks were flying on their date … you could see that they had a great connection!!! And their vows at the end were SO adorable!!! EEP I can’t wait to see how this unfolds for them!!

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Девушки приземляются в Мексике:

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Sharleen:
Episode 4
February 01, 2016

It was a very Bachelorific week in my world. In addition to my usual Flare recap, I taped Huffington Post's Here to Make Friends podcast with Emma Gray and Claire Fallon. It was a total hoot and I now have girl crushes on both of them.

Also, The Bachelor aside, for those of you who don't know, I've been moonlighting as a dating columnist for Flare. (I love writing them and I don't know how I got so lucky.) If you or anyone you know has a relationship question you want my (sometimes brutally) honest opinion on, send it over to: editor@flare.com!

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

LAS VEGAS

We discussed this briefly in the podcast, so when I found a great example I had to include it. The topic was the "Bachelor cadence", as cleverly dubbed by Claire, which is when the emphasis in the sentence sounds a bit off. It's clearly in response to a producer's question, and in my opinion ends up sounding incredibly unconvincing. Case in point, Ben's conviction that Las Vegas is a great place to fall in love...
I always find it funny when the girls make it seem (or are made to make it seem) like Ben is at all responsible for the grand romantic gestures in this show. While it's a nice thought in theory, a team of people that does not include Ben deserves credit for orchestrating things like the following...

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Along the same vein, in the ARIA HOTEL AND RESORT, WINK WINK, the women credit Ben for their swanky digs...

I do feel that of late there is a sense of the contestants being a bit more "game" to play by the rules, as demonstrated above. Yes, the lead can be credited for giving you this experience to the extent where he's liked you enough to keep you around for it. But on my season, we were all well aware that Juan Pablo was not personally responsible for flying us to and putting us up in South Korea and New Zealand. And I was very careful to never sound like I felt that way.

But as this show and the meaning (and benefits) of being on it evolve, I think contestants are more willing to say what's expected of them, even if they don't necessarily feel that way. There are advantages to sticking around an extra episode or two, far beyond the "finding love" aspect that was once the main selling point (up there with it being a once-in-a-lifetime experience). This amazes me. My season was only two years ago, but the show has changed a LOT since then. (When we filmed, for me Instagram was still just an up-and-coming thing. I never once connected the dots until airing was already underway.) I'm starting to think Instagram and the power to monetize social media has completely taken this show—and the way its contestants behave, emote, and possibly allow themselves to feel—to a whole new level.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

JOJO'S ONE-ON-ONE

We also discussed this on the podcast (sorry, there will likely be several references to it!): It's not like the women sit around looking at the window, searching for helicopters and watching each other's one-on-ones. The room often has three or more cameramen (and women!) in it, so when a camera is focusing on something happening outside (or, say, on a biplane flying overhead), it's safe for the girls to assume something's up.
For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you probably know by now that I'm a huge Final Fantasy and Zelda fan. The cameras tipping you off on what to look at reminds me so much of RPGs in general, where things or people you encounter nudge you in your next direction. I know that's a totally bizarre analogy but hopefully it won't alienate you too badly.

For Jojo's date, the girls watch the helicopter land and basically blow the couple away. Note the girls' proximity to the window...

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

GROUP DATE

I hadn't intended to go too in-depth on this Group Date because I've talked about it both in my Flare recap and on the podcast, so in addition to just being sick of talking about it, in all honesty, it truly upsets me. (I take this show more to heart than I should, apparently.) However, watching it back, I couldn't stop myself from capturing a bunch of .GIFs. This is why recapping always ends up taking so much more time and energy than I mean for it to. I simply can't stop myself.

Read between the lines and watch Olivia's expressions before and after her talent show act. Notice the strained smiles...the nerves, the discomfort, the moments where she lets down the façade...
There's no point in analyzing it because I've already made clear my opinions on how and why Olivia would come up with and choose to go through with something that obviously makes her so uncomfortable.

I have some feminism food for thought: Had Olivia not been awkward or nervous on stage and had she actually knocked her number out of the park, what would have happened? It's safe to say she wouldn't have ended up crying afterwards. But I wonder, had she owned what she was doing (not to sound all "YOU GO GIRL" about it, but you know what I mean), how would the tone have changed? After her performance, she thinks she doesn't come off as "marriage material"...
Why is that? (This is not a rhetorical question. I truly look forward to your thoughts.) Was it the fact that she performed poorly (big deal—did you see some of those acts?) or was it the fact that she was scantily clad? I strongly suspect it's the latter. But in all seriousness, was Olivia's outfit any more scandalous than, say, Caila's?
Caila, meanwhile, is getting a strong "marriage material" edit. So I have to wonder, just what was so awful about Olivia's performance? She's not wearing much, but girls are seen on this show in the same amount of fabric (or less) all the time. So, I guess it's the combination of her outfit and the fact that she didn't perform with confidence. But... for her to be considered less like marriage material by anyone—especially herself—for doing something that proved she's not afraid to make an ass of herself seems, well, wrong. Imagine if she'd performed really well and in doing so clearly took herself seriously. Would that constitute "marriage material"? Or is the only way to win to have performed either well or goofily, been fully clothed, and not taken oneself seriously. Thoughts?

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

On a lighter note, there's good news for all you ladies out there, including myself. In the evening, Caila redefines what it means to be considered a "sex panther"...she's a sex panther. you're a sex panther. we're all sex panthers.
According to Ben's requirements, I, and likely many, many of you, have been raging sex panthers for many years now. YES! She's a sex panther. you're a sex panther. we're all sex panthers.

One more word about Olivia and then I'm done, I swear. We catch a glimpse of a completely rational, reasonable, and fair Olivia immediately after her first chat with Ben during the cocktail party...
She doesn't really sound like a nutjob who plans on sabotaging other girls' time to feel better about her connection, does she? Methinks she hadn't had a chat with her producer yet. Sigh.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I'm dying to move on from this seemingly never-ending Group Date, but the conversation had between Lauren B and Ben had to be mentioned...

Ben: Do you question it [our connection] ever?
Lauren: Yeah, of course.
Ben: Don't... Why?
Lauren: I'm living with amazing women and I'm like, 'Why would he like me out of all of these girls', you know what I'm saying? I don't know, part of me is very realistic and I just think that there's no way you'd fall for someone, like, on a first date.
Ben: No shot, right?
Lauren: (smiling) No one falls for someone, hanging out, like, one time.
Ben: (smiling) No.

THIS. This conversation is what makes me believe that it's just maybe possible for people to find lasting love on this show. How Lauren B's "Why Me?" mentality isn't everyone's default mentality is beyond me. And the fact that, despite their undeniable connection, she still thinks critically about the odds that he'll choose her, makes her the most relatable contestant I can remember.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

BECCA'S ONE-ON-ONE
A wedding gown arrives for Becca and the marriage jokes ensue. We get a rare glimpse of Haley's deadpan humor and it makes me sad that we won't see more of her...
Jubilee saves everyone an extra few minutes of ITM time by cutting to the chase...

... because, lest you've forgotten: BECCA'S A VIRGIN, you guys. Let's see how big a deal can be made of it a second time around.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)