Bachelor in Paradise

barish

Now, I don’t think Joe is without fault. He seems to have a bit of bro mentality and has a difficult time expressing his feelings, and I for one would have been irked if I were in Kendall’s shoes when he’d broached the topic of an engagement with a big, shit-eating grin on his face, like he wasn’t serious.

Many women (and men)—myself included—value effusiveness highly. We’re Words of Affirmation people. Showing is nice, but we’d sure like to be TOLD how adored we are and how seriously our partner feels about us. Kendall could very well be that person.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

But when Joe finally did express being very serious about the long term with her, she said, “It’s like the last minute where I have to hear all this stuff and I don’t know how to process it. Like I don’t know how to feel about it.”

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Frankly, if she felt the same way, it would be easy; there would be no “processing” necessary. Which means that Kendall simply wasn’t as into Joe as he was into her. That much is obvious. But I do personally feel, if Kendall truly just wasn’t that into Joe, she should have owned that with a simple and sincere apology. But instead she attempted to turn things onto Joe. She made it sound as though, if he hadn’t waited until the last minute to tell her everything—which is very possibly something he would have done had he felt it would’ve been reciprocated—that things might have turned out differently. Not only was this patently wrong on a factual level, it showed, in my opinion, an underestimation on her part of Joe’s intelligence. I’ll put it this way: I don’t think Kendall would fall for the excuses she was trying to give both Joe and us, the viewers, in her departure. If you don’t think you’d believe the excuses you’re giving, you probably shouldn’t be giving them.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I have a real heart for Kendall because I relate to her. I’m probably making a lot of assumptions based on relating to her, but to me, she’s a unique breed who is hungry for experience and knowledge and, yes, that true cerebral connection. She wants to taste many flavours in this life, and to feel completely seen and understood. I personally think she’s looking for something she just hasn’t found yet. (I remember looking for it too and wondering if I’d ever find it.) She definitely will, and in that sense I think she was right to let Joe go. And not wanting to be with someone doesn’t remotely mean you don’t love them—they’re just not what you’re looking for, that it’s not the right breed of love. I only wish that, when this breakup went down, Kendall had taken responsibility and not attempted to justify her (lack of) feelings as a result of anything Joe had done.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

The other big bomb, and probably the biggest, most disappointing bomb we’ve ever seen on Paradise, was the end of Astrid and Kevin.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

For this beautiful relationship to end the way it did reminded me of so many of my single girlfriends’ dating stories. It usually goes along the lines of: Girl meets Boy, they share something unique and special, it’s easy and effortless. They profess some sort of love for one another. Girl, who is extremely reasonable and pragmatic (as Astrid definitely is), tells Boy that what she values above all else is honesty, even if it’s not what she wants to hear. Boy agrees. Then out of the blue, Boy pulls the rug out from under Girl, blindsiding her and thusly proving he must have been dishonest somewhere along the way.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

I expected better from Kevin, who’s been this season’s nice guy, the great friend and good listener.
For me what doesn’t line up is the consistent strength of this relationship over the last few weeks with the lack of desire to even give it a try in the real world. After all, it’s not like the only options were to break up or get engaged.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

And arguments about things going south after previous Fantasy Suite situations are moot to me. (Also, how hilarious is it that Fantasy Suites now seem to come with an essence of DUH DUH DUH, like they’re something to be feared rather than anticipated??) Astrid is not Jasmine Lorimer or Ashley I, and she deserves the respect of NOT being lumped into the same expectations bin. I appreciate the obvious baggage that Kevin has, in addition to the fact that he clearly struggles with some sort of anxiety.

When he said to Astrid, “I’m having an actual mental breakdown right now,” while an exaggeration, I did believe he was suffering from a psychological pressure he was not equipped, at least not in that environment, to handle.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

That said, Astrid has been nothing but a supportive, understanding partner.
She even said, gently, “What’s wrong? Calm down.” On the whole, in addition to being a stunning specimen, Astrid is simply one of the most dignified, classy and intelligent women to grace Paradise in a long time, probably ever. I have a feeling Kevin, with a little distance and perspective, may come to regret this decision. What sane man wouldn’t?

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

“The Pièce de Résistance in Douchebaggery:” Sharleen Joynt on the Bachelor in Paradise Finale!

Remember when I said yesterday that Paradise has a way of wiggling its way back into your good books?

Well, it has officially set up shop there, because last night’s finale was overall so decent that I somehow have a good taste left in my mouth for this season. Despite the periodic boredom over the last few weeks, I have to admit this was one of the stronger seasons, if not the strongest (the season giving it a run for its money would be season 3, IMO). We had our share of couplings that felt forced, but we also ultimately got some very special and authentic-feeling ones.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

It was a relief to see Kendall and Joe and Astrid and Kevin had rekindled their relationships.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

It was also a relief to see that the two culprits responsible for their breakups, Kendall and Kevin, were so able and willing to admit their fault with both specificity and sincerity.

This is easier said than done, so kudos to them for their maturity and ability to look past their pride toward something more important.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Astrid and Kevin particularly feel uniquely right for one another and it felt like a shame that they wouldn’t give real life together a shot, so I’m really rooting for these two.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

Максимилиан

В БиП неожиданно с очень положительной стороны раскрылся Джордан (американский). Новозеландский Джордан как был нудным, так им и остался. Камил и Лео проявили свою мерзкую сущность лживых пикаперов. Бекка быстро отправила Камила и долго держала Лео. В БиП произошло наоборот, Лео быстро обделался и был вынужден уйти, а Камил обманывал Аннализ несколько выпусков. Дэвид ещё раз подтвердил, что он ленивый лузер. Колтон считал Джордана клоуном, но в БиП оказалось наоборот. Джордан нашёл свою невесту, а Колтон вёл себя как клоун. Пока я сомневаюсь, что Колтон найдёт свою невесту. Будет вторым Беном Хиггинсом. Или ещё хуже - вторым Брэдом Вомаком. Одно дело в "Холостячке" соперничать за одну девушку, которая всем очень нужна, и другое - выбирать из 25 или 30, когда много хороших, и нет идеальной, а хочется взять лучших, соединить их, чтобы получился идеал. Таким желанием многие Холостяки страдают, особенно молодые.

barish

The scene with Annaliese and Kamil was upsetting but I’ve got to say, sadly, not super surprising.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)