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Bachelor in Paradise

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Старый 04.09.2018, 10:37   #2126
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 04.09.2018, 19:21   #2127
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__________________
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Старый 04.09.2018, 21:24   #2128
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Derek Peth and Taylor Nolan: 9 Months
After falling in love in sunny Mexico, Derek Peth proposed to Taylor Nolan during Season 4’s reunion special last September, presenting the 24-year-old with a Neil Lane ring (but of course). Host Chris Harrison described the proposal as one of the “sweetest” and “rawest” moments he’s seen in a long time.
Only nine months after the engagement, the once-in-love pair have decided to part ways. In a joint statement released to E! News on June 26, the exes wrote: “It is with much sadness that we have decided to end our engagement. We put everything we could into our relationship and are heartbroken to go forward separately, but we know this is the best decision for the both of us.” Despite the breakup, the pair noted that they will remain close. “We will still be present in each other’s lives with support, admiration and respect for each other,” they said.
Distance may be to blame for the split, as Taylor is based in Seattle and Derek lives in New York City.
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Старый 05.09.2018, 04:44   #2129
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Старый 05.09.2018, 20:52   #2130
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“The Common Denominator Is Her:” Sharleen Joynt on Episode 8 of Bachelor in Paradise

Ah, the inevitable Paradise relationship crumblings. Because it’s so shocking that people paired up based on convenience and circumstance might not make it past the week 2 or so mark. In all seriousness, though, I’ll always wonder: as things clearly begin to wind down, is production poking and prodding at those relationships, encouraging breakups (after likely encouraging antecedent hook-ups)? It’s hard to imagine there’s none of that.
Let’s use the golden example that is Colton.

He never really wanted to be with Tia, did he?
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Старый 05.09.2018, 20:53   #2131
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In a sea of dishonest men (Eric, Chris)—and for all the flak he got for it—he was actually honest about his feelings re: Tia when he arrived in Paradise. (Hell, he even got his first rose from Bibiana, remember?)

But it really felt like both his beachmates and producers got to him, because he appeared to give the relationship a real go for about a week or so. (Funny how lasting that long instantly makes you one of the “stronger couples.”)
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Старый 05.09.2018, 21:01   #2132
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But I can’t help but sniff those puppeteer strings in their breakup last night.

After all, what would stop Colton from simply waiting things out and ending it privately, after filming? (I feel like that might’ve spared Tia some extra torment, or do I just value privacy more than most?) Colton’s abrupt breakup, like he suddenly couldn’t wait another second, smelled an awful lot like he suddenly had someone (or something) more enticing waiting in the wings. Also notice the incredibly vague yet familiar lines: “She’s one of the most incredible people I know, she’s just not for me.” Or how about the famous “I don’t deserve her”? (Which, by the way, translates to “she’s a nice person but I’m just not that into her”—who in this world doesn’t want more than they deserve?) Do these quotes not sound exactly like what Nick Viall said about Jen Saviano when leaving her and Paradise behind?
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Старый 05.09.2018, 21:13   #2133
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A lesser but still valid example of what I spy as potential puppet-stringing is Eric.
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Старый 05.09.2018, 21:27   #2134
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Eric’s actions are all his own, of course, though I can’t imagine he wasn’t encouraged to explore his options when Cassandra arrived.

You find Cassandra attractive, fun, and intriguing? Go for it!
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Старый 05.09.2018, 21:30   #2135
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Sure, you told Angela you wouldn’t date anyone else, but that was YESTERDAY, a whole eight hours ago.

Today is a new day! (Has any woman in the history of the world fallen for that? Dude seriously needs to work on his BS reasoning.)
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Старый 05.09.2018, 21:45   #2136
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Talk about a fall from grace for Eric, a favourite from Rachel’s season.

Another victim of the reverse redemption story.
What had me hung up on this storyline, though, was all this talk of being “all-in.” I get that on the surface, “all-in” suggests commitment, monogamy, dedication to one another. But last night I began to wonder: Is being “all-in” a euphemism for sex? (Is that what the kids are calling it these days?) Eric actually said this to Angela last night: “I get it, you’re taking your time, but when are you going to get to a point where you’re all in like I’m all-in?” In a new low of a season full of men attempting to manipulate (unsuccessfully, thank god) the women they claim to care about, Eric argued it was Angela’s fault that he woke up with a wandering eye for Cassandra.
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Старый 05.09.2018, 21:47   #2137
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He claimed that Angela, despite her repeated roses over the weeks, and last night, tears and open admissions of caring for and missing him, wasn’t giving him the feeling of “all in”-ness. Seriously, if that’s not about sex, what else could he be talking about?? His argument was so pathetic, here I am assuming there has to be some deeper subtext about non-trips to the Boom Boom Room that I’m missing (the meaning behind which makes him look EVEN WORSE, by the way, if that was even possible).
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Старый 05.09.2018, 21:58   #2138
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Finally, there is someone I want to take a paragraph to discuss. And I swear I didn’t want to dissect Annaliese’s behaviour because I do like her and think she seems very sweet, but when a good 60% or so of the notes I take are about someone, I officially need to go there.
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Старый 05.09.2018, 22:19   #2139
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Last night she said, “My biggest fear is having my heart broken because I’ve had it broken so many times.” I’m not saying there aren’t men or women out there who repeatedly break hearts, but the common denominator here is, unfortunately, her. No one who’s doing things right should have their heart broken so many times. My big concern about Annaliese is I wish she would be more honest with herself. She’s shown a repeated pattern of pretending to be cool with things she’s not cool with for fear of coming off like a “Stage 5 Clinger” (her words, not mine).

But all that does is cause an extra layer of pretense to her already turmoiled inner thoughts. You’re not actually cool with Kamil going on a date with someone else? Then don’t tell him you are, in the interest of seeming easygoing and laid-back, and then spend the whole day bawling at the prospect of losing him. The partnership and love she seeks won’t come from pretend playing it cool; it’ll come from owning the fact that there’s nothing cool or relaxed about her at all. Not only will that lead to self acceptance which will in turn lead to confidence (which will in turn lead to better taste and standards in men—an improved “picker,” as I’ve been putting it with her), but it’ll also attract someone who fully sees and understands her insecurities, loves her for how complicated she is, and seeks to comfort and calm her. I firmly believe in not playing games at the onset of (or at any point in) a relationship, and the game of bait-and-switch is an especially doomed one.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 05.09.2018, 22:32   #2140
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__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 06.09.2018, 05:11   #2141
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“Girlfriend Needs to Get Off That Beach:” Sharleen Joynt on Episode 9 of Bachelor in Paradise

Whoops, my bad predicting that last night’s episode would be the season finale. So amateur of me, thinking a finale could come with so little fanfare and no promises of a TWO NIGHT EVENT complete with a LIVE TELL-ALL. Serious case of wishful thinking on my part!
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 06.09.2018, 05:20   #2142
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I think I’ve figured out what my issue with Paradise is. As opposed to leaving me wanting more, it leaves me feeling suffocated. It could be my favourite show on the planet but even that couldn’t negate the fact that there is simply too much Paradise crammed into too little time. Even some of the finest, most eventful, thought-provoking television couldn’t get away with airing four (or five!!!) hours in two days. (Well, maybe Game Of Thrones could pull it off.)

For the sake of this analogy, I’ll be Shushanna and Paradise will be whatever guy is available (or, uh, not remotely available, because since when has that stopped her?). Because Paradise comes on too strong, too long, and far too frequently, I am repelled by it. It’s a weekly overdose.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 06.09.2018, 05:34   #2143
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It is Kiwi Jordan before he took Cassandra on that date; far too available.
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Старый 06.09.2018, 05:51   #2144
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If the show aired in another country or I somehow wasn’t allowed to watch, perhaps I’d be all Shu-like and set up dessert by a roaring fire and implore Paradise to come sit next to me.
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Старый 07.09.2018, 04:13   #2145
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So about Shushanna…. girlfriend needs to get off that beach, STAT. Some soul searching, maybe some therapy, and at least a general desire for self improvement are majorly in order.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 07.09.2018, 04:17   #2146
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The worst part is, beyond the strange stares, meltdowns, and flip-flopping, she herself zeroed right in on (one of) her problem(s): “I don’t like it easy.” Sure, she’s not the first man or woman on the planet to like a chase, but this is not something to recognize about yourself with a blasé shrug before you resume obsessing over the ATTACHED object of your affections. Liking the chase isn’t a cute preference; it is, in my opinion, a serious issue that needs fixing if you ever want contentment and partnership in your romantic relationships.
Incredibly, directly after admitting this about herself, Shushanna had the gall to moan, “I just want a good guy for me!” Her soulmate could be right in front of her, but—even IF they were to get together harmoniously despite his availableness and mutual interest in her—in what world could she maintain interest in him? How can true partnership thrive if it’s required of one party to always leave the other feeling not good enough or like they need to win you over? Moreover, who the hell wants to be in that relationship? The issue isn’t Shushanna not having a good guy for her in Paradise, it’s that she needs to dig deep, figure out why she wants what she can’t have, and at least attempt to fix that shit.
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Старый 07.09.2018, 04:26   #2147
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Shushanna’s unhealthy obsession with the unattainable aside, let’s analyze her platonic behaviour towards others. She cried when Eric left, stating, “He was so nice to me from day one.” The thing is, everyone there is pretty damn nice; they’re all getting along swimmingly despite having had plenty more time to grate on one another.
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Старый 07.09.2018, 04:53   #2148
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It’s hard to fathom anyone there treating her with a fraction of the rudeness she’s shown for others. I get the impression Shushanna is one of those people who feels entitled to politeness and kindness (not to mention a reciprocation of romantic feels) yet doesn’t treat others as though they’re entitled to the very same. I imagine she only treats others with that respect when she’s been given it already, in abundance.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 07.09.2018, 05:00   #2149
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Case in point, her friendship with Olivia appears to consist of her being comforted, given pep talks, told she’s doing nothing wrong, and that she deserves great things. I know plenty of clips end up on the editing room floor, but it says something that I can’t even picture Shushanna taking a moment to ask Olivia how she’s doing, how things with John are going, if she’s looking forward to her date with Diggy, or how her date with Diggy went. Socially, in Paradise (though I’m getting strong vibes that her behaviour isn’t limited to these few days of filming), Shushanna is a taker who acts like her courtesy is worth more than that of others.
I have a big problem with women (or anyone, really) who know what their faults are but who make zero effort to improve themselves. During one of her six crying sessions last night (with an insanely patient but overly enabling Olivia), Shushanna said, “Call me a bitch but don’t call me a witch,” suggesting she is aware her behaviour could warrant her being called a bitch and that she’d be alright with that.

(Certainly it’s not so hard to imagine it having happened before, given her insistence on referring to Annaliese—who very much has a name—as “the blonde girl,” and answering “Do we have to?” when Annaliese politely asked to speak with her.) This is NOT something to be OK with. The witch thing may be a bit out of line and farfetched, but Shushanna’s behaviour has been exceptionally strange. Perhaps there is some cultural difference at play here, but, in my humble opinion and having lived in a different culture, it’s not an excuse. (Kamil seems to be doing just fine, after all.) You can’t act both aggressively and strangely with near strangers and not expect them to scrutinize and try to make light of it.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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Старый 07.09.2018, 05:03   #2150
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My personal rule-of-thumb questions for when you’re suspiciously at the centre of social disharmony…
1/ Would I be offended by how I am behaving or the things I’ve said?
Would Shushanna be offended by another woman entering and repeatedly advancing on her “boyfriend”? Uh, yes. Would she be offended by someone refusing to use her name, insisting on minimizing her to “the Russian girl” or “the ombré girl”? Hell yes.)
2/ Would I enjoy my own company? and Would want to be my own friend?
These questions are both variations of “do unto others.” Shushanna, in her mix of aggression and abrasiveness, would likely answer yes to the latter, but I think she’d be wrong.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)
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