Холостячкa #11

barish

At this point you all know I’m a proud Texan. To say I was excited to be shooting the rose ceremony at the historic Alamo would be a gross understatement.
<center></center>I know I annoyed the crew and producers with my excitement and constant talk of Texas history — but what can I say? That’s what we proud Texans do. Many events have shut down the plaza in front of the Alamo, but for us they shut down the entire mission giving us very rare complete access actually on the grounds. It was a real honor to walk those hollowed grounds alone at night. A huge thanks to our friends from tourism, San Antonio PD and especially the Texas Rangers (not the baseball team, the real deal) for making this night happen. What you didn’t see on camera is hundreds of locals waited hours and hours to see our rose ceremony. Before we started I asked the crowd to help us out by being as quiet and respectful as possible. After the ceremony, I was lucky enough to walk down the line and personally thank every person who stayed until the end. Thanks to the great people of San Antonio for a rose ceremony to remember.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

<center></center>After an amazing few weeks in our homeland it was time to head abroad and we took Kaitlyn to a place she wanted to go more than anywhere else: Dublin, Ireland. Upon arrival, I immediately had a Guinness and headed down to a local pub where I had the best shepherd’s pie I’ve ever had in my life. Thank you, Ireland, for your beer, your salted vanilla ice cream, your fish and chips — I had more of all of those things than any human should. Oh and did I mention the great links golf courses and Irish whiskey? Heaven!

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

<center></center>Kaitlyn decided to start the week by giving a date to Nick. It was pretty clear that this would make the rest of the guys question her choices, but I think Kaitlyn knew that this was a great chance for her to make a do-or-die decision with Nick.
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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

<center>
</center> As you can imagine, this was one of the most controversial dates of the season. I think a lot of people have assumed what happens behind closed doors is always physical, but the truth is, that remains entirely between the two people involved, until now…
<center></center>Kaitlyn is very open and honest about how she views sex and intimacy and I don’t think any of us are in a position to judge her for that — although that’s exactly what we all do. Sadly, it’s human nature. Kaitlyn was very clear that while she doesn’t regret her actions, she did not consider all the ramifications. I think that’s something we can all relate to; actually, I think that’s a big part of falling in love. Love doesn’t always make sense and it isn’t always logical, so asking someone to consider every possible outcome in such an emotional and unpredictable environment seems not only unfair, it’s just impossible.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

<center></center>I admire Kaitlyn’s honesty and I think she is doing what she feels she needs to do to figure out which man she wants to spend the rest of her life with. Being the Bachelorette is tricky business, and there’s no right way to do it. Before we judge Kaitlyn, let’s remember that this is about finding love, and if she makes it through the storm that’s brewing with the guys in the house, well, I’m sure it will all be worth it.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

<center></center>Our last date of this episode was a fake Irish wake. Obviously, we planned this date with Kaitlyn to have fun and help the guys express the thoughts that sometimes guys have a hard time expressing. It was an amazingly fun day, and Kaitlyn and I took a few minutes before the guys arrived taking selfies and drinking whiskey from her flask, trying to get into the spirit.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Obviously this date struck a chord with Ben Z., and he took it more seriously than the others. There’s a disarming sincerity to Ben Z., and every time he spends any time at all with Kaitlyn I am more and more impressed with who he is as a man. He took a hard situation and made the most of it and for that, I salute him.
That night things seemed to be right back on track. The guys on the group date sipped Guinness at the beautiful Guinness Storehouse and spent the evening having great conversations with Kaitlyn. I know you might think this was an overly touristy date, but trust me, if you ever find yourself in Dublin, you’re going to want to enjoy a pint of the real thing on the deck at the Guinness factory overlooking the entire city.
<center></center>Jared got the rose and got to go to Christchurch for one of the coolest moments I can remember. Hearing the Cranberries sing “Linger” in that cathedral was really romantic, and the night seemed to be ending on an up note…

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

<center></center>But then things took a turn. Shawn’s feelings for Kaitlyn are very strong and sometimes those feelings can be overwhelming. It’s clear that Shawn is falling in love, but this process is getting to him. Next week, you’ll get to see how his conversation with Kaitlyn goes, and the rest of the season is about to go wild when Kaitlyn talks openly about her relationship with Nick, and tells all. Tune in. You may never see anything like it again!

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Sharleen Joynt on The Bachelorette: Episode Seven
<center></center>Last night’s episode was tough to watch. It was tough as a former contestant. It was tough as a friend of both Kaitlyn’s and Nick’s. It was tough as a human and as a woman who has made her own mistakes.

What I’d love is for every person watching this show to open their minds a bit more. I know all too well that many folks hate-watch The Bachelor/ette. (My favourite example of irony is when someone excitedly recognizes me but is then quick to tell me, “I don’t really watch that show, though.”) I suppose they want to feel superior to those they deem to be crazy, fame-seeking trainwrecks. (Or to be able to say, as Amy Schumer put it, “I’m fine.”) But there has to be more to it than that; everyone watching this show can’t be so mean-spirited. No, we watch reality television because of the fact that the characters are not actors and their gruesome tears are authentic. There’s a plethora of excellent non-reality television shows out there, after all. We continue to watch because it’s simultaneously painful and compelling to see a fellow human—no different than you or I—endure an emotional roller coaster and unravel before our very eyes.

So, as a former contestant, I implore you, the viewer, to think outside the box. How much producer involvement was there? How many marionette strings were pulled? Ask yourself: With no private time with the opposite sex, and not being permitted to seek out distraction, how long before you would get—in the sage words of Ryan McDill—“horned up”? How many whiskeys would need to be all-too-conveniently placed in your hand before you made a decision you might not have made sober? (And, side note: since you know you removed your mics once behind closed doors, did they use booms or hidden microphones to record you?)

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

As a friend of Nick’s, I ask you to ask yourself: how many times would you need to be prompted to recap your date before you finally let slip certain buzz words—even abstract ones such as “intimate” and “personal”—the producers were seeking? Would you lose your patience if you tried to remain private but were forced to rehash? How would you feel if you slipped up once, nearly a year ago, and millions of people decided you were forever a person of poor character and trustworthiness because of it?

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

As a friend of Kaitlyn’s, I ask you to ask yourself: if you believe you would make different choices in her shoes, does it make it alright to condemn her for hers? Again, we watch because these people are indeed real people, so would it not stand to reason that if you were to actively comment, tweet, and communicate your most negative thoughts her way, that she could read and be very hurt by them? Would you have the stomach to say those same words to your worst enemy’s face? Is Kaitlyn any different as a leading lady than she was as a contestant, when you liked her and were rooting for her?
As a fellow human being, have you ever lived in the moment and done something you wanted to do, without properly assessing the consequences? Would guilt be punishment enough, or do you think you might have benefited from the judgement of strangers? At what point does opining become cruelty? At what point, considering the self-reflection I hope some of these questions inspire, does it become hypocrisy?

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

My frontrunners this week are…

Nick, 34: All that sexual chemistry aside, Nick was there for Kaitlyn in more ways than one this week. It may have bothered the guys that he was the one to comfort Kaitlyn after Ian’s (truly despicable) tirade, but you didn’t see her turning him away. Their one-on-one date was effortless and they just seem to understand each other in more ways than one.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Shawn, 28: I really like Shawn. He has a quiet command to him that I think women are very drawn to. However, it’s tough to go through the process if you’re a particularly jealous person, which Shawn seems to be. That said, his emotional breakdown showed vulnerability (always a good thing on this show) and I do get the sense that it comes from a place of feeling like he has something very special with Kaitlyn, not from a place of just wanting to win.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Jared, 26: You guys, Kaitlyn chose Jared to dance with while The Cranberries performed. He must be doing something right.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Ben Z., 26: I confess Ben Z. is on this list more out of my tradition of having four frontrunners than anything else. I like Ben Z. but their connection doesn’t come close to rivaling the top three. (But really, does anyone think it’s not going to come down to Nick or Shawn? Didn’t think so.)

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

С каждым выпуском показывают все меньше и меньше свиданий! То перед ЦР заканчивали с очередной драмой, а тут стока было драмы, что даже целое свидание зажали и я даже сразу и не заметила, было о чем думать!
А в следующем выпуске она признается парням про секс и опять куча драмы будет!

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Из блога Шарлин:
The Bachelorette, Season 11: Episode 3

During filming, I literally called the producers "cloaks", referring to the Harry Potter invisibility cloak.
Fun fact: The producers always avoid being on camera because any footage with them can't be used (almost never, anyway) and is therefore useless. It's not uncommon to see the producers scooting and dodging around to be out of view. For me, I never felt comfortable with the cameras and would avoid them whenever possible, and so would strategically chat with producers—the cloaks—to ensure the camera crew would quickly lose interest in me. It sadly didn't take long before they said, "Okay, Sharleen, scat. We know what you're doing. Get back out there." And I would begrudgingly rejoin the day's activities. (LIFE IS SO DIFFICULT.)

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Ali Fedotowsky:

So let me just dive into this topic by saying slut shaming is NOT COOL! What is wrong with people?!?! I mean really. It makes me SO angry that there is such a double standard in this world when it comes to men and women having sex. I can assure you that Kaitlyn is NOT the first person to have sex with someone on the show. In fact, I would argue that 95% of the Bachelors and Bachelorette DO have sex on the show. Sure, Kaitlyn did it before the infamous fantasy suite, but does that really matter? I’ve heard Mike Fleiss (the creator of the show) say that one of the Bachelors had sex with something like 6 of his 25 women!!! I’m not going to say who that Bachelor is, but people didn’t slut shame him. So stop judging Kaitlyn for following her heart annnnnnd her vagina

And ya ya ya, I realize Kailtyn told Shawn that he was the "one" and it wasn't exactly fair to say that and then go sleep with Nick. But hear me out... I told Roberto he was the "one" on our first date and then when I went out with Frank, I connected with him on such a deep level that I thought he was actually the one for me. It's very obvious that this is the "Kaitlyn digs Shawn and Nick show" and not, as Nick calls it, the "Shawn really hates Nick show." So yes, she may go back and forth between the guys. She might end up sleeping with both guys. But like I said above, I ASSURE you, she is not the first Bachelorette to sleep with a guy and CERTAINLY not the first to sleep with two guys.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Kaitlyn Bristowe's Bachelorette Blog: 'This Is Hard, and It's Hard to Relive'

I really, really wanted to chirp Ian ruthlessly, but I didn't have to. He did enough damage himself. I understand that it doesn't feel good when feelings aren't reciprocated, but try and exit with some dignity. I have nothing more to say about Ian; I've already wasted enough time on him. Men Tell All should be fun.

I know no one will ever understand how hard rose ceremonies are. They always come after a week of being emotionally drained. And while having the rose ceremony at The Alamo was amazing, I couldn't really take it in knowing the difficult decision ahead of me.

Sending Joshua home had NOTHING to do with what had happened the last week with Nick. My relationship with Joshua just wasn't progressing as I wish it could have. Joshua, if you are reading this I think you are one of the biggest beauties. You're a good ol' fashioned guy, and I respect you. Saying goodbye is always hard when you care about someone. But I knew cutting ties then was the right time. I didn't want to waste anyone's time.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

OFF TO IRELAND!!!!

Like I said, I have always wanted to go there. I used to live in Newfoundland, Canada, and it was like a mini Ireland. I LOVED it there, and I was beyond excited when Chris Harrison told us where we were headed. It was a surprise for me, too! Arriving to Dublin was amazing, and I was excited for my first date.

I guess this is when I should just dive into the Nick date. Something people will never understand is how challenging it is to be The Bachelorette. And I have to admit, I never did in my days watching as a viewer. I used to think, "Okay, how hard could it really be to date a bunch of good-looking dudes and have all these feelings?!" I'll admit, I didn't think it would be hard, but I'm hear to tell you guys it's FREAKING hard.

First of all, I am not perfect, and I'm not afraid to say that. But, as the Bachelorette, you have to juggle multiple relationships at once, and you feel responsible for so many people's feelings and emotions, all the while trying to sort your emotions and feelings and trying to find your guy. Not to date, but to possibly marry! You HAVE TO compartmentalize relationships; it's the only way to get through it.

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

Some relationships move faster than others. Some are more physical. Some are more meaningful. Some are fun. Some move slowly. Some are terrible. I'm SORRY! It's just how the cookie crumbles. There is NO CHANCE you can go through this and not make some mistakes.

Okay, Nick. Let's just get into it. Taking a relationship to an intimate level is very private to me. And that is why this is difficult as the Bachelorette. Nothing is private. Should I have had sex with Nick in that moment? Probably not my best idea, but intimacy is important to me and I don't believe the act is wrong. I got lost in the moment and maybe I shouldn't have made that choice. Hindsight is 20/20. I can't help but wonder if I waited a couple weeks and did that in the fantasy suite and didn't talk about it, would I be getting this kind of backlash?

I had other relationships, and I did feel guilt for that reason – because I cared about the other relationships I had. I can never make everyone happy at all times, and that includes myself. This is hard and it's hard to relive. I hope you can understand and appreciate my honesty.

At the end of the day, I am a 30 year-old woman who was trying to make this experience as real as possible. I challenge anyone to go through this on national television and not make a mistake. It's impossible. And I know I'm not the first or last to go through something like this, and I would hope people could keep that in mind and not be so quick to judge. I don't judge others by their choices be it having sex or practicing abstinence. To each their own.

I pride myself in being an in-the-moment person and living each moment to the fullest. And that is high risk, high reward. But that's just who I am and that's how I was with these relationships. I wasn't worried about what people would think of me. That also is not who I am. It's hard reliving my choices now because people are VERY opinionated and this has been all I have talked about for over a month now. But I'm also honest and that comes with owning my decisions. The reason I didn't want Nick to go tell the guys was because that was a private moment that I felt I should share if I wanted to.

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“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

It was challenging shifting my frame of mind after my date with Nick to a group date with these other great guys and great relationships I had. But I was excited to spend some more time with these guys, getting to know them and Ireland!

There is something SO beautiful about the way the Irish celebrate the lives of those they've lost. That's what that Irish wake was to honor and celebrate. Have you ever wanted to say something to someone and it was too late? Maybe in life or maybe in a relationship? This date was to celebrate life, love, and the meaning behind your words. It was fun and loving. The guys did such a great job, and each of them had such a different approach. I was blown away with Ben H.'s humor. It was really great to see that side of him. On the flip side, I appreciated the way other Ben Z. took it seriously. He told me later he was grateful to experience that date as it really put him in touch with his emotions and that was something good for him. Ben Z. is such a big teddy bear!

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)

barish

It's always so hard to hand out just one rose on those group dates. But through out the date, Jared continued to impress me. I wanted to do something special for him and to share an extra moment. When we walked up to the beautiful cathedral, it was breathtaking. And once we got inside, the '90s child in me was screaming. I LOVE the Cranberries and having Jared with me in that moment was so romantic!!! It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life, and I was happy to share that with Jared. Music brings out my soft side. I love it. And I know he enjoyed it just as much as I did. So Special!

__________________
“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” (c)